Tu B’Av is a time to celebrate love, connection, and the bonds that bring us together. This year, we’re highlighting a Jewish love story from our Federation community—showcasing the ways Judaism continues to shape the lives we build together.

Looking for Community

When Vanessa Sax moved to DC after college, she wasn’t looking for love. She was looking for community.

After settling into her first apartment on her own, she sought out ways to connect with Jewish life in her new city. So, she found and signed up for a DCJCC softball team.

It turned out Vanessa wasn’t the only newcomer.

Among the returning teammates was just one other new player: the man who would later become her husband.

One ‘Shalom’ Changed Everything

Like many great love stories, Vanessa and Kasey’s story didn’t begin with a grand romantic gesture. It began over post-game happy hours, where teammates gathered after each softball game.

During one of those happy hours, the two found themselves deep in conversation about Otter Pops (Freeze Ice if you’re on the east coast) and $1 beers and $2 grilled cheese sandwiches at a bar in Adams Morgan. “We spent the rest of the happy hour talking about many, many different topics,” she recalls.

As he walked her back to her car, a passing cab driver rolled down his window and enthusiastically shouted, “SHALOM!”. The unexpected greeting gave her exactly the opening she needed. Vanessa sent Kasey an email that simply began, “Shalom!” and invited him out to hunt for Otter Pops and for more $1 beers and $2 grilled cheese.

“He claims he was going to ask me out,” she laughs, “but I beat him to it!”.

Twenty-two years later, she says the story proves what they’ve both known all along: she’s the risk-taker in the relationship. That willingness to take chances led to a partnership built on curiosity, encouragement, and a shared commitment to growing together.

Vanessa admires Kasey’s endless desire to learn. Whether he’s mastering a new recipe, tackling a home repair, or teaching himself how to make Rummikub tiles by hand (mahjong tiles are next, she says), he approaches each new challenge with creativity and enthusiasm. “He loves learning and trying new things”.

Building a Jewish Home

That same spirit has shaped the Jewish life they’ve built together.

Today, celebrating Jewish holidays and passing along Jewish traditions to their daughters are at the heart of their family. Like many families, their extended relatives observe Judaism in different ways. Yet together, they have created traditions that belong uniquely to their own household while remaining deeply connected to generations that came before them.

A Chuppah Stitched with Love

One of those traditions quite literally surrounded them on their wedding day.

Instead of purchasing a chuppah, they created one together with the people they loved. Family members and friends each designed a fabric square, while her mother-in-law and sister-in-law lovingly stitched them together into the canopy beneath which they were married.

The chuppah still hangs in their home today.

“I would love for our girls to get married under it if that is their path in the future,” she says.

For Vanessa, sharing a Jewish life with her husband is about more than celebrating holidays or observing traditions. It is about sharing a history, a language of experiences, and a sense of belonging that continues to grow as their family grows.

She grew up in New York. He grew up in Los Angeles. Together, they built a life in DC. Although they came from opposite sides of the country, they quickly discovered that the Jewish community has a way of making the world feel smaller.

Finding Purpose Through Community

Years later, that same sense of belonging inspired Vanessa to make Jewish community-building her career. After working in commercial real estate, she took a leap of faith into Jewish communal life, deciding to join The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington—a move Kasey supported wholeheartedly.

Today, she serves as Federation’s Senior Director for Strategy and Community Building in Northern Virginia, helping others find the same sense of connection that first brought her to a softball field all those years ago. Learn more about Federation’s work in NoVA.

Weaving the Next Generation

“Jewish geography is a wonderful tapestry to be a part of,” she says.

It’s a tapestry she hopes her daughters will continue weaving as they build lives of their own: carrying with them the traditions, relationships, and sense of belonging that began with one decision to join a Jewish softball team.

This Tu B’Av, we celebrate not only the moments that bring people together, but the Jewish communities that help those moments become lifelong stories. Sometimes, finding your place in the Jewish community can lead to finding the person with whom you’ll build a Jewish future. And sometimes, it inspires a career dedicated to helping others find that sense of belonging, too.