This time last year, we were holding our breath as an agreement came together to free the last living hostages in Gaza. Over the course of two long years, our community in Greater Washington served as an epicenter of advocacy. People in official and unofficial capacities across our region met with delegations, built relationships, acted as hosts and liaisons, and did everything they could to keep the hostages top of mind so that a deal would be made.

This year, however, it is less clear how to channel our grief and passion. We are continuing to support long-term recovery efforts in Israel. But how do we greet this tender anniversary now that there is no immediate action to be taken?

It turns out that Rav Joseph Soloveitchik may have an answer. Recently, I read Kol Dodi Dofek (Listen, My Beloved Knocks), Soloveitchik’s famous 1956 theological address and saw how aptly his framework applies to our times.

Soloveitchik argues that the Jewish people must exist in two mindsets: encampment and congregation, “An encampment is created out of a desire for self-defense and thrives on fear. A congregation is fashioned out of longing for the realization of an exalted moral idea and thrives on love.”

In a world full of real threats, we need to think defensively, understanding that there are forces outside of our control shaping our reality. At the same time, we must move beyond the realm of fate into the realm of destiny, rising above our historical circumstances to pursue a larger moral idea on our own terms.

Navigating the tension between fear and love is the modern Jewish project. And I think the anniversary of October 7 can hold a piece of both. We can use the occasion to remember, grieve, and renew our vigilance, and channel the emotion of the day into building a future worthy of those we’ve lost.

I wish I could write solely in defense of the congregation side of things. That I could implore all of us to go ahead and trade in our fear for aspiration. But that’s not the reality we’re living in. We must continue finding the balance between self-protection and self-actualization. We must become adept at hunkering down and reaching outward, at flowing in and out of a dichotomy of postures according to what history and our moment demand.

Three years on, sitting with what happened on October 7 still makes me physically ill. I can only hope this dark fixture in the Jewish calendar becomes something we can use to strengthen our people and build this world from love.

Shabbat Shalom and may the memory of all the innocent lives lost on October 7, 2023, and the many days since be for a blessing,