Alright everybody! It’s the new year and I am going to keep to my resolution.  I have a big project I just agreed to lead – I had said yes before my resolution to Just Say No – and now I am going to work on my leadership skill of inspiring others to join the cause. 

I have done a little research to help me get the people I’m asking to a “yes”, and I thought I would share it with all of you.  Here are ten tips on getting people to do a favor for you (which I think works well in this context of non-profit work) from the book Get Anyone to Do Anything by David Lieberman.

1.       Timing.  Try to ask people the further away from when you need their assistance as possible.  Don’t follow the old adage – ask a busy person.  The ability to gain cooperation from someone who is not under a time constraint goes up dramatically compared with someone who is rushed or preoccupied.

2.       Reciprocity.  People are wired to want to give to you if you have given to them.  If you don’t have a giving relationship with the person, try a compliment or a small gesture to start out the conversation.

3.       Bystander Apathy.  The more people there are who can do the job, the less likely someone will step in to fill it.  Make the person understand that she is one of very few people to be trusted with this job.  Explain your reasons for selecting her for this.

4.       Mood.  You can’t really go wrong here, unless the person is angry at you.  Indicate how he will feel good about doing this job.  If he is in a good mood, he will want that mood to continue.  If he’s in a bad mood, he will be looking for something to make him feel good again.  If he’s angry- wait for the storm to clear.

5.       Apathy or Empathy.  If the person thinks you need them because of your incompetency or ignorance you generate apathy.  People help when the issue is not perceived of as your doing.

6.       Similarity.  People tend to want to help people who they are like.  Try to see if you can align with her in some way, create bridges first.

7.       Internal consistency.  Ask someone to recall a time when they successfully fulfilled the task you are asking them to undertake.  Human nature drives us to want to act consistently with our self-perception.  If we think we are the type to do this task and do it well, we will be more inclined to offer the assistance again.

8.       Lead by example. Use metaphors and stories of others who have helped in similar situations.  We aspire to be like role models unconsciously.

9.       The Ego. People are actually more apt to help a stranger than someone they know.  This is because it does not pose a threat to our self-esteem.  So make sure the person doesn’t feel threatened or in competition with you.  Promote you and me against something else, not you helping me get what I want.

10.   Persistence.  Ask 6 times.  (wow!) According to research that’s the magic number.  Most people tend to agree to something after being asked up to 6 times.  Hopefully it won’t take that many times for everyone!

Ok, I’m sharpening my tools and setting off for my list of phone calls today while I still have plenty of time to get it done.  As you probably know from your own successful experiences, we have been in situations like these before and we know many people who have succeeded in recruiting others on the first try.  (How am I doing? I’m not going to say it 6 times!) Wish me luck!

12/02/2009
Leadership lessons come in all sizes and from all places. This morning I was surrounded again by the incessant talk about Tiger Woods and his crash. Ruth Marcus in her Washington Post column was imploring Tiger to remain silent and maintain his privacy. A satellite morning show was using him as a lesson to all would-be cheaters that if you want to cheat in this day and age you should know you will get caught.

Through my leadership lens, the Tiger Woods saga presents an interesting lesson on human behavior. The expectation that some would like to have that everyone would leave Tiger alone while his actions seem mysterious is naive. We are meaning-making machines. I recall how quickly I went from "Thank God he is okay," to "What in the world was he doing backing out so crazily of his driveway at 2:30am?" and "his wife had to break the back window with a golf club to get him out?" Our brains are programmed to seek out rationales behind actions. As Linkin Park sings, "Give me reasons..." We will not stop until something - really anything - makes the story fit together.

We could look at this as our morbid fascination with all facts and an insatiable quest for smut. Or, we could recognize our natural human curiosity. As leaders, I think the latter is more valuable. In Judaism we use this curiosity to encounter texts and draw deep lessons from them. In the Bible, Moses receives an incredibly harsh punishment for hitting a rock. For centuries people have debated what it was that warranted this reaction by God. The text is missing something. Moses had hit rocks before. Even if it was a mistake, it doesn't seem that bad. Yet, God's reaction is swift and unrelenting. There are many theories about Moses' mistake, some that place it squarely on that particular action to those that look blame other incidents to even those that state this was not a punishment at all but a realization that Moses was not the leader to take the Jews into the land of Israel. Where there is a rational gap, our minds feel the need to fill it in. We struggle with it - sometimes with obsession - until we can align the two pieces. This is the way we are programmed. It's called cognitive dissonance. We use it for good, in the case of scholarship and also in creating new realities for ourselves by forcing our brain to help realize the vision we put into it. Of course it can also cause us to relentlessly pursue a man who's only public error was one of omission.

Here's the lesson to take with you. Silence doesn't always pay. If you don't provide an answer, people will fill one in for you. You might cry privacy! but what people hear is mystery! and their wheels won't stop turning until they find or make up something that makes sense. As a leader you have relinquished control of your own and possibly your organization's destiny.

03/09/2010
Visiting the Native American Museum with my son's class, I was reminded of the importance of stories. Stories are used to transmit tradition, create a shared history, imbue values, and determine theology. Every society has its stories. Whether we look at Greek mythology, Native American legends or American folklore, for centuries people have used stories to build community.

Leaders are right to learn from this pattern. Storytelling is an important skill for all leadership. Bill Clinton proved the power of stories. As a master storyteller, Clinton always punctuated his speeches with stories of real people. These stories add drama, create an emotional connection with the audience and are very memorable pieces to take with you. Presidents and candidates after him have tried to emulate this pattern.

It is no surprise that the Bible is written through story. Whether the events actually occurred or not does not diminish the power of the story. We learn lessons of behavior, history, ritual, creation, and God through these stories. We can retain them because the characters come alive. We relate to the people and their struggles (or at least most of them).

As Jewish leaders we can appreciate the power of the storytelling in accomplishing great things and building community. We need to hone these skills and use them in our speeches, writings, and conversations.

04/28/2010
Why are we always looking for change?

What is it that leads to dissatisfaction? I find myself quoting Ryan Bingham again (from Up in the Air) "make no mistake- movement is life." What is it that won't let us stay with what we have?

In this morning's Washington Post there was a small poll at the bottom left corner. Q: Are you inclined to vote to reelect your representative in Congress or look for someone else? A: 57% said they would look for someone else. More than half the people polled want change. This is change for change sake - they have no idea what the other person would change, how he or she would propose to change anything, or even if the change would be positive or negative. People are naturally inclined to want change.

Obama tapped into this natural desire throughout his campaign. It was a very powerful and effective message. Change resonates. In our personal lives, we are also seeking change. Just look at the divorce rate, caused by wanting change, not changing enough, seeking change with someone other than your spouse.

Perhaps this sentiment is rooted in our bodies. For as much as we think we want to be sendentary, our bodies need movement. It doesn't have to be constant, but at some point we feel the need to move - even if it is just to stretch. Many people feel the need for some mode of exercise in their day/week/month. How many of us have felt "restless"?

The story of the Jews wandering in the desert gives us a glipse into this need. The distance between Egypt and Israel could have been covered in about three days. When the Jews are punished with being stranded in the desert for 40 years, why do they keep moving? Couldn't they have stayed in one camp for the whole time? Surely it would have been easier to set up a "town" and lived there for thirty nine years and 362 days. So why did they wander?

One answer might be this human need for movement. If the people remained in the same place, perhaps they would turn to other areas for their "movement." We do find that many times when the people are "stuck" they turn away from God. At the sea, they cry out to go back to Egypt. At the foot of Mount Sinai they build a golden calf. Maybe God learned from these events and knew that the people needed to keep moving physically in order to be stationary in their religious belief.

Leadership lesson: We are hard wired to seek out movement and change. If you are a leader, you can try to continually feed this need with positive change and forward movement. If you get stuck in a rut without advancement, people will create their own change and you might be one of the changes. Constantly keep a look out for change possibilities that lead toward your goal. Keep an eye on your movement ratio - change over length of time. Are the changes you are implementing felt by your constituency? Is it enough change? Is it the right change? Understand that if you wish to keep some stability in one area, you need to offer enough offsetting change in another.

Change will happen. In our professional and personal lives we can orchestrate the change or we can just let it happen to us.

05/05/2010
What a bad morning. You know there are those days when your alarm doesn't go off, you get a late start, no one wants to get out of bed, there's no milk in the house....

After coaxing a teenager out of bed, refereeing two tired kids taking their grumpiness out on each other, searching high and low for pink dance tights, inventing new lunch meals, and somehow trying to straighten my hair and get out the door in some presentable fashion for work, I took a breather in my car while waiting for a red light.

As I practiced my "deep breathing" I looked up and saw a man on the island a few cars ahead of me. Increasingly people are appearing on these islands asking for anything someone can spare. I know that this is a common sight in places like New York, Philadelphia, LA and it used to be very common in DC as well, but we had a long time where a homeless person on the street was a rare sighting. Unfortunately, our economy has reversed this trend. So I looked over at him and thought to myself, "let me start my day with a Mitzvah."

I reached into my purse, pulled out a dollar, and rolled down my window. The fellow came over and I said, "Good morning!" His face lit up. He thanked me for my dollar, complimented my nail color and told me I should be a cosmotologist. This morning I was feeling like that might be a way for me to go. Then he told me I should be blessed.

Honestly, I thought I already was. What a lucky person I am to have a construct with which to turn my day around. A one minute interaction, spurred by the thought that maybe doing a mitzvah - giving charity - had changed my whole outlook on the day. Honestly, my impetus was completely selfish. I wanted to give more than I wanted him to receive. Is this bad? In the end we both won. I hope that he uses the money wisely, but the money was almost beside the point. The interaction was the key. The mitzah opened the door to that interaction.

Leadership lesson: It doesn't take a lot to turn things around. Don't get stuck. Meet people where they are. If you see someone having a hard time, talk to them for a few minutes. Show some interest in them. Do this informally and formally. Many people have supervision time with subordinates. How many instances that does that time turn into work? Are you connecting with the person? How is she feeling about her work load? What can you do to better support him? Have you noticed an increase/decrease in productivity? What's up?

It doesn't take a lot of time to turn things around. It takes interest.

05/12/2010
On this Yom Yerushalayim, Day of Jerusalem, I, like many other Jews, am focusing on the import of this capital city. I have been fortunate to visit Jerusalem many times and even lived for a year within the hustle and bustle of this inspiring mix of an ancient and modern city.

Jerusalem has many names. I have mentioned in a prior blog that I view names as carrying more significance than just a title. One of the more intriguing names of the city is "Jerusalem of Gold." This descriptor became commonplace after the Naomi Shemer song of 1967 prior to the reunification of Jerusalem. Although many believe the name relates to the color of the ancient walls at sunset, Shemer based this appelation on the romantic Talmudic story of the gift Rabbi Akiva gave to his wife for giving up her inheritance and supporting his many years of learning. The gift was a gold replication of the city.

What is the significance of gold? Why is this such a powerful and meaningful connection with Jerusalem in our modern times?

Ever hear of the "gold standard?" While gold used to be an active currency it now forms the backbone of our financial system. Somewhere, we imagine, in the bowels of Fort Knox, is a gleaming stash of gold bullions. We might not feel it, we might not see it, but we know it is there. What would happen if it disappeared one day? Would our economy stand strong without its presence? While our financial transactions occur through dollars of paper and even wires these days, I think we would all agree that it would not. We are having enough trouble keeping economies strong even with a gold standard.

This, to me, is the place of Jerusalem as well. It is our gold standard. Without Jerusalem, our peoplehood falters. It is our backbone. Sure we have moved on to the modern wonders of Tel Aviv and Haifa. We, who live outside Israel, might be more interested in DC, New York , LA, London, Paris. Yet, we all pray for the rebuilding of Jerusalem. Jerusalem is the heart. And we all yearn for a heart of gold.

Leadership lesson: Every leader, organization, company, institution has a backbone. Find it. What is at your heart? What keeps the people focused on the task at hand? What is that center, sometimes deep in the foundation, without which your house will crumble? Locate it and treasure it. Never let anyone or anything distract you from its significance.

06/16/2010
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

Now I have to admit I am the furthest thing from an Eminem fan. As a protective mother of four, I hear his voice on the radio and immediately reach for the button to change channels. It was only after some incessant pleading from my teenager that this was "honestly" a great song that I would like, did I even give it my cynical half ear.

Let me also say that while I think this is a great message to kids and adults alike, I am only recommending the clean version. I guess it was too much to think that this rapper would clean up both his message and his language. But with the bleeping or silent skipping of offensive words, this song does has a lot of heart.

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

Change. Hope. This is the real message. These are not words to be bantered about in a political campaign. These are words to live by. We can change. We all have hope. Today things can be different.

The real poignant point of this song, though, is that in order to change, you cannot be afraid. How many times do we look around and think I would like to change, but...
We list fear after fear that keep us from changing. Our nature is to be afraid.

The Israelites in the desert kept running into their fear even as they were under the aegis of God. How many times did they fear for their lives? In this week's Torah portion, another version of the same fear is recorded. There was no water and the people gathered against Moses and Aaron. "Why have you brought us into this wilderness that we and our cattle should die here?" (Deut. 20, 4) Our most basic fear of death.

The Israelites needed to change. They had to cease being slaves and grow into citizens. But their fear kept them from realizing their dream. No one of this generation entered the land of Israel. The fear was too overwhelming. And it cost them.

What would it look like to change our sentence from "I would like to change, but..." to "I would like to change, and..." I recognize my fear. It is a natural part of me - and - I am going to choose to be fearless - to forge ahead without dwelling on the risk.

Leadership lesson: Tackle your own demons, challenges and goals without fear. You will feel the fear. Turn it into adrenaline to keep you moving toward your objective. Notice the fear creeping in. And, as Eminem sings, take confidence from knowing that others have faced down their fears as well. Find support - holla if you feel you've been down the same road.

06/30/2010
Last night I sat down and watched three hours of Gandhi. It was a fast day and I figured this movie was a win-win. Gandhi leads through hunger strikes and we would be very hungry at the end of the longest fast day of the year (Jews fast 5 times a year - winter ones being the best!). Plus it is a three hour plus long movie which would take us right to the end of the fast at 9:30pm if I timed it right. The last hours are always the hardest. So here we were gathered, me and three of my children, watching the tale of a leader who fought two countries for the rights and equality of his Indian people.

Although I had last seen the movie back in the 1990's (remember the intermission in the middle?), I was watching through a very different lens this time. I am putting together a leadership book and movie club and thought that Gandhi would be a wonderful addition to this offering.

There is no question that Gandhi was a strong leader who had many followers. He accomplished a great deal - no small part of it Indian rights in South Africa and the independent India as part of the British Commonwealth. And he did it all while staying true to his authentic self - non-violence as the means of change.

But, as I asked my kids over our break-fast, was he successful? We should not confuse accomplishment with success. Gandhi was very accomplished. He brought about much needed change. Yet toward the end of the movie Gandhi says, "I failed." He is referring to his dream of a united India where religious differences do not affect social treatment, where Hindus and Muslims live and rule together. This does not happen. India is split into India and Pakistan and people are forced from one country to the other depending on their religion. This dream is unfinished. And in truth, this was Gandhi's fight all along - equality and tolerance for all under the same flag.

Leadership Lesson: When we reach for the BHAG, the Big Hairy Audacious Goal (from Jim Collins), it is very possible that we will come up short. We will hopefully accomplish a great deal along the way. We can become great people, great leaders and even revered. We can also fail in our leadership mission. It will happen. Not everyone can succeed. Just like in the Bible we learn from great leaders that we will not always succeed, but we must make the quest. Aim really high - some of us will succeed.

08/05/2010
While on vacation with my family, I watched a DVD which struck a soulful chord with me. Many times movies move me, and this one really upset me. The movie, Whale Rider, is about a tribe in New Zealand who is searching for their next leader. At first blush there is much to get upset about: the complete disregard for women, the father's abandonment of his daughter, the grandfather's cruelty to his granddaughter. But this disturbance ran deeper.

The movie really explores the difficulties all of us have with letting go of our expectations and the damage we can do when we cling to them. The grandfather expected that the new leader of the tribe would be a boy and no matter what circumstances and evidence proclaimed differently, he was stuck so much in this dream that he almost sacrifices his entire tribe. All the while the "savior" was right under his nose.

As the story is written, the girl doesn't ever give up. She tries time and again. Is beaten down and derided. But she still follows her destiny. In the face of all odds. I kept thinking, what if she just gave up on them? Then where would they be?

Leadership Lesson: How many times have we been trapped by our own expectations? Not seeing that there are solutions right in front of us if we would only follow them. They might look different than what we pictured, but can we adapt? I suppose this is the crux of Heifetz and Linsky's "adapative leadership." Not only do we have to be on the constant lookout for change that needs to be made, but we must accept that change might come in different form than expected. Or maybe we can not set up expectations of the form of change for fear of missing solutions right under our noses.

In the first class of our Jewish Leadership Institute Signature Course I ask the participants who they consider to be great Jewish leaders.  Many names have come up over the years, and several times Noah has popped up as an example.  After reading the Biblical portion of Noah this past Shabbat, I have come to believe that Noah does not fit the most basic definition of leadership.  This is not a “dis” (as my kids would say) on Noah.  He must have been a great man – to be the ONE man God chooses to save in the entire world.  Great man but not great leader.

Most basic definition of a leader: leaders have followers.  No one, but his family, followed Noah onto the boat.  No one, throughout his entire journey to build the ark (which was huge and by legend took 125 years to build) was inspired to return to God. 

We can evaluate this two ways: one, that Noah’s contemporaries were so lost that not even a man building a huge boat to save himself and the animals attracted enough thought to want to join him.  Or, it’s not that Noah wasn’t a leader, but that he was a bad leader.  God set Noah up with everything he needed to make a splash and affect people.  It appears that Noah had to actively turn people away from his message – I can only imagine that many people asked him what in the world he was doing – he had to have been attracting attention.  Yet, he squandered that opportunity. 

So the question is: Can you lead in difficult or even impossible situations or are there times when circumstances (or the nature/culture of people) prevent leadership?

This week’s Leadership Lesson is for you to fill in.  Please comment and let me know what you think.

01/13/2010
Drama, drama, drama...

What place does drama have in leadership? A prominent one I would say. As the title of this blog implies, I believe leadership should be inspiring. To inspire means moving emotions. Even if I am talking about an intellectual development, the "inspiration" piece is a feeling - the faster heart beat, the rush of adreneline, the surge of dopamine - I am happy and excited - eager.

When Daniel Goleman talks about emotional intellegence for leaders he includes not only the abillity to read people's emotions, but the ability to lead people's emotions. It is this quality that sets great leaders apart.

President Obama is under fire currently for allowing his emotional connection to the people to wane. In an op-ed in the Washington Post today, Michael Gerson attacks Obama for lackluster speeches that fail to connect to the American people. "His (Obama's) reactions to the Fort Hood murders and the Christmas Day attack were oddly disconnected from the emotions of the country he represents. His speech at Fort Hood was strong on paper but delivered with all the passion of remarks to the Chamber of Commerce."

We just finished reading the Torah portions of the story of Joseph and his brothers and we see what an important role drama plays in the development of people. Joseph carefully orchestrates dramatic events - stealing, jail, travel back and forth - in order to culminate in an emotional revelation and reunion with his family. How different would the story read if the brothers had come to Egypt and Joseph simply said "Hi, nice to see you again!" Instead Joseph creates the pinnacle moment with Benjamin's life hanging in the balance and to use the Andrew Lloyd Webber/Tim Rice line, Joseph says: "Can't you recognize my face? It is hard to see? The brother who you thought was dead - your brother - is me." (gives me chills just writing it)

In order for people to change course, there must be an emotional connection. Sometimes the world supplies its own drama. Sometimes leaders need to create the drama. Emotion is not whimpy. As Gerson puts it, Presidents need not only mental toughness but empathy - "The ability to wear the nation's emotions on his sleeve." In order to inspire you need to put yourself in the emotional space of those you wish to follow you. Gerson concludes "A President lacking in drama may also be lacking in inspiration."

There's plenty of drama around - as a leader - use it.

Can you believe it?  This week is Chanukah already!

Mostly due to my exhaustion from Thanksgiving and a family celebration, I am committed to a low key week this year.   Typically, we pack a lot into Chanukah.  For many people this is one of the few (maybe two) Jewish holidays celebrated in a year.  But for my family it is one of many and actually one that can tend to be overlooked if we aren’t careful.

All other holidays come with a basket of rituals – from feasting to fasting or building funny tents in the backyard to eat in. 

Not so Chanukah.

All we have to do is light a few candles every night.  We still work all day, have homework, basketball, guitar, choir, teaching, meetings – well you get the picture – your life is probably filled to the brim as well.  In fact, just lighting candles can be difficult.  This year I am working the first night of Chanukah and my kids have tennis lessons that will bring the family together at 9:30pm for the first time.  A bit late to get started with a holiday that should begin at 5:30.

So, in order to carefully mark the holiday, every year I typically sit down and plan out a theme for each night.  There’s been movie night, community service night, dreidel night, visiting the sick night, game night, latke night, and one of my favorites – clean out the closets night (desperate times).

This year – no themes.  Fueled by my sheer exhaustion, pun intended, I went back to the basics.  Chanukah is the holiday of light.  It’s placement in the winter solstice is meant to clue us into the supreme value of a tiny bit of light in the vast darkness.  What is that light?

We are.  Each one of us has a spark of light inside of us.  It seems small sometimes – almost extinguished at times – but it can be nurtured and it can grow to shine for the world to see.

• What is my light? (That feels very odd to write as my name means “my light”.)
• How can I make a spark in a dark world? 
• Light gives off energy – what energizes me and what about me inspires energy in others?
• Light is warm.  How do I radiate warmth to the people around me?
• Light illuminates.  What aspect of life can I better clarify?  How do I use my light to make me more aware of myself and my world?

It’s basic and it’s deep.  Not such a little holiday anymore.

Leadership Lesson: As leaders we always need to keep an eye on our unique light.  Let it inspire.  Let it ignite.  Let it shine.

My daughter always reads the last page of a novel first.  I rarely even read the book jacket.  Her reading process begins with knowledge of the starting and ending points.  It was an anathema to me.  For me, the pleasure in a good novel is the mystery (even in a standard fiction).   Working through the possible endings on your own.  I enjoy the open ended-ness.

My daughter is also a writer.  She has an incredible facility with language and the ability to weave a story.  So for years I could not wrap my head around why she would take all the fun out of discovering a new story by knowing the end. 

Until I starting counting this year.

We are in the period between Passover and the holiday of Shavuot.  Passover celebrates the freedom of the Israelites from Egypt and our freedom to worship God.  Shavuot marks the receiving of the Torah, the Bible, from Mount Sinai and enhances our ability to live a better life and serve God.  There are 50 days between these two events and some Jews count every day between them.    

We count knowing the beginning and the end.  What’s the point in counting if it’s not to something?  A birthday, the end of school, a vacation.  It’s the bookends that give the days meaning.

Random events only become a story when we have a clear start and finish. 

Otherwise, things “just happen.”   I realize that my daughter’s view of a book is completely different than mine.  I just go for the ride – trusting that the writer will take me to the end.  Then I either recommend the book or not.  As a writer, though, she reads as if she is counting – measuring every detail and plot twist as to how it relates to getting us to the end point.  The “how” is just as important as the ride.  Every detail has meaning because she already knows where she wants to go.

What would our lives look like if we knew where we needed to go?  Every element of existence becomes an integral piece of our story – not random things that just happen to us.  Our lives are stories.  We definitely have beginnings and ends.  Most of us don’t focus on the end and thus don’t pay attention to the detail in the middle. 

Leadership Lesson:  Let’s try to count each day.  Think: how will today fit into the story of my life.

I love being inspired by Israel.  Even if it is something as simple as the motivation to get out and walk.  Maybe it’s the crazy driving, but only in Israel do I feel more compelled to walk than to drive.

Today I went out walking the dog and walked past an abandoned mansion that an English immigrant built for his wife.  So much in this country is rich in stories.  And this house was no different.  After pouring his heart and soul into the home, the Englishman’s wife past away shortly after moving in.  He left the country and moved back to England.  The house had sat abandoned for close to 100 years.  Today they began restoring the home.  I have no idea what its use will be, but new shudders were put on the stable windows, new doors affixed to the back of the home, and the gas lines seem to be going in.

Israel is known for innovation.  And many people claim it is the newness of the country that allows it to be so avant guard.  I disagree.  I believe it is the incredibly rich and ancient history that taught this modern country to innovate.  Innovation is the ability to take something from one discipline and apply it to a new discipline.  It’s the ability to look at the old and see something new.  Jews have been doing that in Israel since Abraham’s time.  We started with spiritual innovation.  Last Shabbat we read the Ten Commandments. These were probably laws exercised by many more civilized communities, but the Bible now put these civil laws into a religious context.  So many times the Jews returned to Israel and started anew – taking old structures and turning them into modern living conditions.  We were nomads, tradesmen, merchants, farmers and now businessmen.  The start-up nation gets most of its ideas applying military technology to business concepts.

The abandoned mansion could be an historical site or it could be a new factory.  It will only depend on the restorer’s innovative vision.

Leadership Lesson: If you need to innovate and you want inspiration, try looking to the ancient rather than the modern.  Who knows maybe one day someone will think of a modern ,use for ancient pottery pieces.

Hurrah!  School started! Wouldn’t it be nice if that were the attitude with which our children met the first day of school?

For both me and my kids, the transition back to school is a hard one.  We love summer.  Flexible schedules, long days, travel, swimming, no homework.  So the beginning of school isn’t an extremely anticipated event.  As my kids went off this morning I tried to think of some great parting words to booster them up for the challenge ahead.  I went to old reliable – “Great moments are born from great opportunity…”  It’s a joke in my house, a go-to line when you need to lighten the mood or give a pep talk no one wants to hear.  It’s the pre-game speech from the movie Miracle.  After they giggled and left the house, I thought a little harder about the appropriateness of that line for today and for all beginnings.

Every morning upon waking there is a Jewish prayer that can be said.  “Modeh Ani lifanecha, I am thankful before You.”  The very first thing we say in recognition of beginning our day is “thank you”.  What are we thankful for?  We haven’t done anything yet.  Some answer that we are thankful simply for waking up.  There are many people who die in their sleep and for us to see another day is enough to be thankful for.  But just opening your eyes isn’t enough.  Sloughing through life isn’t enough.

Each day brings about new opportunities.  Every day is the possibility of a do-over or do-better.  Every moment could become great if we seize the right opportunities.  Going to school is a great opportunity.  Many children in the world don’t have the access to the kind of education with which we are privileged.  Education is about building more and more opportunities.  So now, instead of looking back at the summer now ended, I say, Modeh Ani, thank you for beginnings and the opportunity to do something great.

“Go for yourself from your land, from your people, from your father’s house,

to the land I will show you.”   Genesis 12:1

When issuing the first instruction to the Patriarch of the Jewish people, God uses a very odd construction.  How many times have you asked your co-worker, “Go for yourself to the meeting with our most important account/donor?”   Even adding a “please” I would still have said, “Please go to the meeting.”  What do you have to do with it?

God is giving us our very first lesson in leadership.

Things didn’t turn out so well with Adam & Eve.  God gave them one set of instructions – Be fruitful and don’t eat from that tree.  They were fruitful.  But the people that came from them were deemed by God to not be salvageable.  They are all, but Noah, destroyed in the flood.  Now God is trying again with Abraham to forge a great and moral nation.  And He starts the tone differently.

In leadership we often talk about leaders creating the destination postcard – sharing their vision – before asking others to assist them in fulfilling the vision.  Where is God’s vision here?  God chooses here to start “backwards.”  He starts with the request and offers no full vision of where Abraham is headed.  Yet, He uses this strange construction – Go for you.

Every action we take we take for ourselves.  And I am not knocking everyone as selfish.  We are, however, self-centered.  We cannot get out of ourselves.  Even for an instant.  We can serve others, we can give to others, all in light of putting others before ourselves, but others cannot replace ourselves.

When God says do this for yourself, He is not getting “buy-in.”  This is a much deeper form of leadership.  God is insisting that the motivating factor in action comes from you.  You choose to do this for yourself.  Not for my vision.  You create your own vision.  Should something go amiss, you should not be pointing to me and saying she asked me to do it.  You made the choice , listening to your vision, your values, your priorities.

Leadership Lesson: Deep leadership is demanding tremendous personal responsibility from all those around you.  Surround yourself with people who choose to go with you for themselves, because the journey aligns with their visions.  Hold them accountable for every choice they make (not punitively, but responsibly).  And you too – go for yourself into the world.

Purim is a holiday that celebrates and informs leadership.  Contemporary leadership.  As hard as it might be to believe, we are still grappling with threats of our annihilation, and what we can do about it. 

Many of us are reluctant to step forward.  We have many reasons and rationales, most of which are valid excuses for not stepping up.  Like Esther, we question our place in history.  Like Mordechai, we feel despondent at the circumstances stacked against us.

Unlike many other Jewish holiday stories, the Purim tale is one with contemporary nuances.  Coming on the heels of the AIPAC conference this year, it is more striking to me that the political maneuvering of the Persian age has not ended.  Once again we are faced with a Persian government official (now Iranian) who wants to wipe us off the map.

Many are feeling despondent like Mordechai about the chances of averting the “building of the scaffold” in these times – nuclear weaponry.  Yet, while Mordechai recognized the graveness of the situation – he dons sackcloth and ashes – he does not allow himself to lose hope in salvation.   Even in his grieving uniform, Mordechai claims that the Jews will be saved – the only question is how.  He pushes Esther to use her access and influence with the King, on the off-chance that this approach might work.  Esther was the Queen, but that position carried no power with it.  And her access was limited – she had to wait to be called.  And her influence was untested – she had never asked anything of the King. 

We sit back and kvetch about our current situation.  What could we do to thwart the plans of someone who seeks our destruction?  We maintain hope that something will happen – just don’t press us on what or how.  Or we relinquish the need to do something to others – particularly Israel.

Maybe our access and influence is untested.  Maybe what we try will not work.   But as Mordechai chastised Esther “Don’t imagine that you will get away with your life when he comes after the Jews just because you are sitting in the Palace.”  Sometimes we can believe in our security because we live in the palace of the United States.  We are the lucky ones who live in prosperity and freedom when so many of our family live in threatened spaces.  It might be that the “King” will shoot us down for approaching when we haven’t been called.  But what is our choice?  We have the access.  We have the influence.  What are we going to do with it?

Differentiated Instruction.  This innovative approach started circulating in the education community around the 1950’s.  In brief, it means meeting students on their terms – teaching to the different needs of each individual in a classroom.  Recently this mode of instruction has become the norm.  We are seeing less and less of the “one size fits all” lecture format. 

And yet, while we can all look at teaching and admire this “individualist” approach and we can recognize the celebration of individualism represented by facebook and the internet, somehow we stop short when it comes to our organizations and staff. Leaders, while doing a pretty good job recognizing at least the need to individualize for their customer base, are not looking sufficiently at the need to support differences in their staff.  Why do we still hold so strongly to “policies”? Why do we fear the exception?

Passover celebrates difference within a common cause.  Time after time we are reminded that people are unique.  We have one goal.  To answer – what happened in Egypt?   Yet we have four sons asking variations of the question, necessitating four slightly differing answers.  We utilize many modalities of instruction at the Seder – intellectual, physical, spiritual, oral, participation, verbal, rhetoric, repetition, commonality, mystery…  Our wish is to engage everyone there.  Today, we have enlisted the assistance of web technology to educate.  Some hold Seders over Skype.  Some use YouTube videos – like the new Passover Rhapsody from aish.com.  Some have written new editions to ancient texts – such as the new Jonathan Safran Foer and Nathan Englander’s New American Haggadah.  At my seder we can have as many haggadahs at the table as people, all with slight differences in nuance and thereby connecting with the person who brought it.

It is time.  One size does not fit all.  And that’s not a danger.  It’s an opportunity.  Judaism has never allowed one voice to dictate its existence (a human voice that is.)  We are held together by common history, common lineage, and common brotherhood.  But as we know - two Jews, three opinions.  And we have lasted thousands of years.  Organizations should be so lucky.  Leaders – allow for people to be themselves.  Embrace their uniqueness.  Lead them toward a common goal.

Have a wonderful Passover.

This blog will return on April 18.

Over Passover, with my kids off of school and a vacation from work, I was finally able to catch up on my TV watching.  One of my favorite shows is back – Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.  I watched the first season and was so impressed by Oliver’s leadership that I incorporated the show into my leadership class.  Here’s why.  Oliver, a successful and famous chef at a very young age, chose to devote his time to taking on the eating habits first of Britain, then more recently the United States.  He has a clear passion --  healthy eating.  Not food, like most chefs, but specifically eating for long life and medical health.  He sees a clear problem – obesity – particularly in children.  He formulated a solution/ a vision – healthy meals served in schools.  And he is going after his vision.  All this pretty much follows the steps you would see from any leader. 

Passion, Need, Vision. 

Here is where Oliver starts to pull away from the pack.

He takes on a vision that is enormous.  A Food Revolution.  He wants to change the way America eats.  He doesn’t use the word “revolution” in any “Hollywood-ized“ manner.  He is attempting a huge transformation.  And revolutions are hard.  True change starts small.  Impact is tough.  Leadership is under attack.

Oliver doesn’t hide the rough patches.

 He fails.  He makes mistakes.  He runs up against brick walls.  He gets frustrated, angry, disappointed, stressed.  He questions his purpose.  He questions his priorities.  Is he just wasting his time?  We are half-way through the season and he’s made zero progress.

Sound familiar?

All leaders have as Jim Collins would put it – Big Hairy Audacious Goals.  And no leader skates through realizing that goal without a lot of gray hairs sprouting in the process.  This is what I love about the Bible.  All biblical leaders have moments of failure, moments of self doubt and moments of frustration (both with themselves and others).  Moses’ hair literally turns gray overnight! Maybe God didn’t want him to see it turning so fast with his troubles with the Israelites, so He changed it all at once.  You can’t avoid the pitfalls if you want to accomplish something great (even not so great, many times).

But Oliver can inspire us to keep going as well.  He is extremely resilient as he meets challenge after challenge.  He just keeps trying as he puts it “another loophole”.  And this guy is famous.  He has every opportunity to walk away.  Maybe not during the season (he probably has a contract) but why do it again?  Glutton for punishment?  Again I think of Moses going back to Pharaoh again and again to ask for his people’s freedom.  Things got much worse before there was any movement.  Pharaoh’s heart was hardened.  Moses wasn’t going to get anywhere.  But he kept plugging away.  Then a miracle happened.  Sometimes that moment of success is a bit of a miracle.  And we never know when it’s going to come.

Leadership Lesson:  Failure and frustration are part of the leadership process.  Use stubborn recalcitrance by others as an indication that you are moving in the right direction.  If you encounter no resistance, your vision might be too small.

Yesterday was a truly tough day. 

I started the day at a funeral.  Faye was 59 when she lost her battle with cancer, and mother to a classmate of my son and a college aged daughter.  Although I did not know her well myself, as each person addressed the assembled community, Faye emerged clearer and clearer as a woman of incredible love, faith and resilience.  She told the doctors she was uninterested in their estimates of her time left here – only God knows that information.  And she was right.  She outlived all their best predictions.

It was difficult to listen and feel the very personal tragedy to this family.  Faye wanted to see her children married and with children of their own.  Now her children and husband would have to move through life without her.  The family was subsumed with their grief and lost. 

But for me, there was another layer to this story.

Yesterday was Yom HaShoah – the day we remember the millions murdered by the Germans in the Holocaust.  It can be a struggle to really feel the tragedy of this enormity. Especially for those of us who had no close relatives killed in Europe. As I sat listening to one woman’s impact on her world, I felt a new depth of understanding for all that was lost.  Millions of families suffering the pain of lost mothers, fathers, sisters, children.  The thought is crushing.

It took the very up-close look at the personal pain of one loss to open my day to empathy for millions.

Leadership Lesson: It is hard to learn from tragedy.  Yet the lesson of making a large issue smaller in order fully grasp it is universal.  Enormity is paralyzing.  Access to emotion is through the personal and if we want true understanding we have to feel.  Great leaders walk followers through their feelings. Especially the feelings we find most uncomfortable.  They open the way for motivation through emotion.  This is not a tool of rhetoric – it is a very real way to access our deepest selves.

I am truly rocked to the core over the tragic murder of Leiby Kletzky, the 8 year old boy found suffocated and dismembered yesterday. 

I watch my share of police serials on TV and remember well the Body of Proof episode which bore a striking to resemblance to this heinous act.  It was gruesome to watch a fictional tale – and it is truly sickening to contemplate the real nature of such a vicious attack.  And that this was carried out by one of our own. 

We will never know the unique potential that Leiby would have brought to the world.

On the aish.com website Rabbi Benjamin Blech writes:

Ever since the beginning of mankind the Torah reminded us that a single death leaves none of us untouched. In the aftermath of the first murder, God turned to Cain in anger and admonished him with the words “The sounds of the bloods of your brother cry out to Me from the ground." Not blood, but bloods, in the plural. The commentators explain that when Cain killed his brother he effectively destroyed all of Abel’s future progeny as well.

In the words of the Talmud, he who murders one person is as if he destroys an entire world.

The loss of one person diminishes every one of us. It affects our collective future. It alters what might have been. It prevents us from ever receiving all the precious benefits every single life has to offer.

Now that we have looked at saying no from a personal perspective, let’s weave in the organizational needs. 

It seems that if I am only concerned about my passions and my strengths, I might be tempted to believe that an organization should reflect my interests and strengths.  After all, I am most suited to work within these ranges and if the organization needs something else, it should look for someone else.

Yet, a great leader is constantly assessing the needs and wants of the community their organization serves.

                Burying your head in the “this is the way I work” mentality is a sure ticket to irrelevance.

Pharoah finds himself in this trap in this week’s Torah portion, Vaera.  He tries so desperately to cling to the same old, same old, he ignores the very apparent changes in his power dynamic and winds up losing men and esteem.  There was no way for Pharoah to stop the momentum of change, yet he refuses to recognize it.  He, literally according to Scripture, hardens his heart.

Most of us don’t have the opportunity to witness miracles which instruct us on the changing winds of the day.  We need to be proactive.  We must assess the needs and wants of our community continuously to keep out in front of prevailing innovations.

Management expert Peter Drucker in his book, Managing the Nonprofit Organization, relates a conversation with Frances Hesselbein, National Executive Director of the Girl Scouts, where he questions her about the introduction of the Daisy Scouts which stretched the Girl Scouts down to 5 year olds.  Hesselbein had no authority to command Scout Councils to change.  Here is how Drucker characterizes the change process:

First, you were market driven. You went out and looked at the needs, wants of the community you serve, and they had changed since you first started 75 years ago.  So you developed this service that was market driven. Next, you have to market, you have to persuade, you have to create customers for the new mission because 335 councils don’t have to take a program just because you in New York say so.  And the next thing you told us is that to make the change, you looked for Councils who really wanted this and were ready to go to work.  You didn’t worry about the Councils that were non-believers.

So, if we are to adapt to the changing environment, where do our passions fit in? 

For this I go back to a basic leadership style: the servant leader.  Servant leaders put the organization first.  Sure, it might not be the issue I am most passionate about, but it is the vital need for the organization today.  The organization’s needs come first.

So here is a big caveat to my Just Say No policy.

If there is an urgent organizational need and I am in place to help address that need – that trumps my desire to work in my passion/strength area.

Urgent needs could include changing realities (rise of virtual mediums), people in desperate circumstances (Gilad Shalit or Alan Gross), or community activism (lobbying or rallying).

We need to guard against heart-hardening, and getting stuck.  Even if it is comfortable.

Aloha!

I found a new way to say no.  Go on vacation! My family decided pretty last minute to squeeze in a vacation this winter.  It was a stressful process to just pick a week and clear out everyone’s schedules.  We have four kids, each with school and other demands, and my schedule is, well, honestly, it’s not about the schedule as much about my inability to let people down, at least in my head, so rescheduling meetings or saying I can’t assist with something – even rescheduling carpool – can be stressful for me.  But, we did it!  And, oh, was it worth it.

I learned a few valuable lessons from my week in paradise.

1.       KNOW YOURSELF.   We had a hard time deciding on a place to go for our family vacation.  Typically, we vacation in the summer and we are “water” people.   It was hard to find a location with good weather in February.   We considered going for the skiing vacation instead.  We have never been to the great ski areas and it would be very fitting in February – even if this year we have had so little snow.  But for the relaxing vacation that both my husband and I yearned for, we knew we had to get to a beach and sun.  So we schlepped the family all the way to Hawaii for 8 days. Right decision.  We would have had a blast skiing I am sure, but as soon as we hit the sun’s rays I could feel myself returning to center.  The first day in flip-flops and suntan lotion sent all my stress into the ocean.  My daughter, the school-work-a-holic,relaxed for the first time in 6 months and didn’t do a stitch of homework. My family responds to surf and rays – so that’s where we need to go.

2.       ISLAND SPEED.  On a trip to the Caribbean when I was young, my parents and their friends coined the phrase “island speed.”  It referred to the annoyingly slow pace of the islands, service is slow, traffic is slow, even speaking is slow when measured by us North-Easterners.  It became a phrase of affection the more you relaxed.  For the first few days the pace is an adjustment.  It feels like everyone is moving in slo-mo.  Traffic on the one-lane 55 mph highway is moving at 45.  Then an awareness begins to creep in – what’s the rush?  An extra 10 minutes of sun on the beach?  You’re already burning to a crisp.  Everything shuts down at 10pm.  Why not?  Why can’t we get a good night’s sleep?  What are we killing ourselves for?  Enjoying life takes time too.

3.       HAVE FUN.  One of the main highlights of the trip was being able to swim with dolphins.  There was a DolphinQuest at the hotel we stayed at and we were able to observe the dolphins quite a bit and ask a lot of questions.  The dolphins in the pool play all day.  Sure they play with the trainers, but even at night, long after the trainers have gone home, they are doing tricks and jumps, just for their own fun.  And the dolphins have lived 4x as long as dolphins in the wild.  We don’t really need dolphins to tell us that living life having fun and not stressing over predators causes us to live better, longer lives.  But it was a good reminder to take enough time to have fun every day.

Like most of us, learning lessons while in the moment of a class, lecture, or life experience is pretty easy.  The tricky part is taking those lessons with you into the rest of your life.  So here’s my strategy.  I bought a bracelet – just a little “Aloha” that now sits on my wrist reminding me to welcome life and embrace each moment fully.  And I put a very large towel of the tropical view of palm trees and sunset right in front of my desk at work.  This way my mind can travel to my stress-free zone whenever necessary to keep me centered.

You don’t have to go half-way around the globe to find inspiration.  Just this morning on my way in to work, I saw a father carrying his 4-year old son into preschool in the rain.  The dad was running to get out of the rain and the son? He had his tongue out lapping up the rain as it fell.  Now that’s island speed.

Aloha!

I found a new way to say no.  Go on vacation! My family decided pretty last minute to squeeze in a vacation this winter.  It was a stressful process to just pick a week and clear out everyone’s schedules.  We have four kids, each with school and other demands, and my schedule is, well, honestly, it’s not about the schedule as much about my inability to let people down, at least in my head, so rescheduling meetings or saying I can’t assist with something – even rescheduling carpool – can be stressful for me.  But, we did it!  And, oh, was it worth it.

I learned a few valuable lessons from my week in paradise.

1.       KNOW YOURSELF.   We had a hard time deciding on a place to go for our family vacation.  Typically, we vacation in the summer and we are “water” people.   It was hard to find a location with good weather in February.   We considered going for the skiing vacation instead.  We have never been to the great ski areas and it would be very fitting in February – even if this year we have had so little snow.  But for the relaxing vacation that both my husband and I yearned for, we knew we had to get to a beach and sun.  So we schlepped the family all the way to Hawaii for 8 days. Right decision.  We would have had a blast skiing I am sure, but as soon as we hit the sun’s rays I could feel myself returning to center.  The first day in flip-flops and suntan lotion sent all my stress into the ocean.  My daughter, the school-work-a-holic,relaxed for the first time in 6 months and didn’t do a stitch of homework. My family responds to surf and rays – so that’s where we need to go.

2.       ISLAND SPEED.  On a trip to the Caribbean when I was young, my parents and their friends coined the phrase “island speed.”  It referred to the annoyingly slow pace of the islands, service is slow, traffic is slow, even speaking is slow when measured by us North-Easterners.  It became a phrase of affection the more you relaxed.  For the first few days the pace is an adjustment.  It feels like everyone is moving in slo-mo.  Traffic on the one-lane 55 mph highway is moving at 45.  Then an awareness begins to creep in – what’s the rush?  An extra 10 minutes of sun on the beach?  You’re already burning to a crisp.  Everything shuts down at 10pm.  Why not?  Why can’t we get a good night’s sleep?  What are we killing ourselves for?  Enjoying life takes time too.

3.       HAVE FUN.  One of the main highlights of the trip was being able to swim with dolphins.  There was a DolphinQuest at the hotel we stayed at and we were able to observe the dolphins quite a bit and ask a lot of questions.  The dolphins in the pool play all day.  Sure they play with the trainers, but even at night, long after the trainers have gone home, they are doing tricks and jumps, just for their own fun.  And the dolphins have lived 4x as long as dolphins in the wild.  We don’t really need dolphins to tell us that living life having fun and not stressing over predators causes us to live better, longer lives.  But it was a good reminder to take enough time to have fun every day.

Like most of us, learning lessons while in the moment of a class, lecture, or life experience is pretty easy.  The tricky part is taking those lessons with you into the rest of your life.  So here’s my strategy.  I bought a bracelet – just a little “Aloha” that now sits on my wrist reminding me to welcome life and embrace each moment fully.  And I put a very large towel of the tropical view of palm trees and sunset right in front of my desk at work.  This way my mind can travel to my stress-free zone whenever necessary to keep me centered.

You don’t have to go half-way around the globe to find inspiration.  Just this morning on my way in to work, I saw a father carrying his 4-year old son into preschool in the rain.  The dad was running to get out of the rain and the son? He had his tongue out lapping up the rain as it fell.  Now that’s island speed.

With the elections coming up there is a lot of chatter about issues – I choose to ignore the chatter that is mostly about dirt – and Jews are painted at times as “one-issue voters.”  They mean Israel policy. Typically the comment comes with derision.   But I say – you betcha!

Now I say that because I know (and they know) that it’s 100% false to think that the majority of Jews only vote based upon one issue – if that were true, we would see a very large Republican base from Jews and that is definitely not the case.  However, within a party, if the defining factor for voting becomes the candidate’s stance on Israel, is that wrong?

In this week’s Torah portion, Numbers 32, we read of the first pro-active Diaspora Jews.  Two and a half tribes decide that they would rather stay on the other side of the Jordan river than inherit land in Israel.  Moses, in probing them about their intentions, asks, “shall your brethren go to war and you shall sit here?”  In other words, where is the all for one and one for all spirit?  The tribes answer that they are in no way disconnecting from the inheritance of the Jewish nation, they will fight together and then they will return to this land of their choosing.  Predicated on this notion, God agrees that there is no problem with their settling on the other side of the Jordan.

“The more things change, the more things stay the same”

A friend of mine recently changed her hairstyle.  Her new look lasted exactly two days.  Let me tell you – she looked really good with the new ‘do.  Not that she doesn’t look good now, it’s just that she has been wearing her hair in the same style since High School. (You can probably tell from my use of the term “High School” rather than “Upper School” that we graduated a little while ago.)

It got me thinking.  How many times do we get all excited about change only to revert to our old ways? And many times we don’t even realize we have gone back.  If you asked my friend, her hair is different – a slightly different color, slightly shorter, etc.  But the overall effect is perfectly the same.  Many organizations institute change but people don’t actually internalize the change.  And then we begin slipping back.  Sure there is a vestige left of the new way, maybe a new program or a new procedure, but there is no systemic change. 

The underlying obstacle to this change is an ingrained vision of ourselves.  When my friend looks in the mirror she sees herself one particular way.  When the image staring back at her does not reflect the one in her head, she gradually adjusts the image until it matches.  This is part brain science.  We work hard at reconciling our beliefs with reality.  And it’s reality that changes to meet our brains – not the other way around.  In order to affect change we need to “buy” it.  We need to see ourselves as different.  The reason I go on diets is because in my head I still look like I did in High School.  Every time I see myself in the mirror these days I measure myself against that image.  Sometimes I come up short (or in this case too large).  And then I work my way back to the image I am comfortable with.  So this brain science can work with me or against me (I like that it doesn’t let me get too far off the eating track). 

If I don’t “sell” a vision that replaces the old way of doing things, I don’t have a chance at change.  My friend will never change her hairdo until she starts “seeing” herself as someone with a different ‘do.  No matter how many makeovers anyone might try.

Leadership Lesson: Envision a new reality, really buy into it and it can be yours.

Disclaimer: I am a feminist.  I went to a women’s college.

Now that you know where I am coming from –

I am noticing an interesting phenomenon in America.  The other day Michele Bachmann announced her candidacy for President.  I looked all over the media and didn’t find one reference to the fact that she was female.  I was surprised by this shift.  Sure we had other candidates – Elizabeth Dole and of course Hilary Clinton.  But much was made of their gender.  Now, a woman slips into the race with only the appropriate comments about her qualifications driving the discussion.  And that’s because of Sarah Palin.

I know a lot of you are going to take offence and argue that Hilary probably deserves more credit, but actually I think it’s Palin.  Palin has maintained the national spotlight in the Presidential race.  Clinton moved on to Secretary of State, a role transformed in the ‘90’s to include women. She is seen more as a bureaucrat now not as a political power.  But Palin, whether you like her or you don’t, is still holding her own as a political force.  It is under her umbrella that Bachmann declared with confidence.

I am not minimizing the role of those who paved the way.  I worked on the Mondale-Ferraro campaign (see I told you I am a feminist).  And it was a big deal that Clinton came so close to the nomination.  The difference is that Palin has made it typical to see a woman in the national debate. 

So I turn closer to home and I ask – if the nation is accepting women in the highest leadership roles, are Jewish organizations doing the same?

The Bible details the leadership of Devorah the judge.  She is a stand-out in the field of male-dominated leadership, although Miriam, Esther and Ruth all have very strong supporting roles.  That the Bible recounts any female leadership is poignant.  At the time such leadership was out of the ordinary and to canonize it tells us of the importance of women in Judaism.  We can look back and see the same pattern of leadership as we have today.  But that was thousands of years ago!

How far have we come in our Jewish organizations?  Are the highest leadership roles in the highest organizations equally represented by women?  I think across the major ones in my mind – JFNA, JDC, CJP, JAFI, Hillel…- all headed by men.  Are we going to catch up or are we going to stay in the thousand year old tradition of male domination at the highest levels of power?

Continuing on our theme of Just Say No, I look at the Torah portion this week and am struck by Moses’ very determined “no”.  Our greatest leader and he didn’t seem to have any compunction saying no – and that’s to God!

God asks Moses to go back to Egypt and tell Pharoah to “let my people go.” Moses says “Who am I that I should go to Pharoah and free the Israelites?”   But that’s not all.  After God shows Moses miracles He will use to show the people he is authentic, Moses still says, “Please, O Lord, I have never been a man of words.”  The “please” indicates a desire to get out of the job.   Not being dissuaded, (God must know the 6 times rule I discussed last week) God makes His power known.  So Moses is clearer: “Please make someone else your agent.”  Now God gets upset and offers up Aaron to partner with Moses in the job and the discussion is closed.  I guess if you’re God you only need to ask 4 times.

What lessons can we learn from the exchange between God and Moses in calling someone to leadership or being called yourself?

First, that there is nothing wrong with saying no.  God does not get angry at Moses for daring to think he was not the man.  So how can we get angry at each other when we say no? 

What happens if someone really important asks you to do a task you decide you need to no to?

 How do you say “yes” to the person but “no" to the task?

According to a terrific online resource www.mindtools.com, here are three main questions to ask yourself:

v  What does this person really need?

o   Find areas of flexibility

o   Determine priorities

v  How else can this person’s needs be met?

o   Find a different frame of reference or approach to the problem

o   Look for time and resource alternatives

v  How can I support this person to have the needs met?

o   Define the larger goal

o   Look for common interests and needs

We can look at this exchange between Moses and God in both directions.  Moses says no, but offers no assurance of a common cause, alternative approach or way that he could fulfill God’s request in a different way.  He is therefore unsuccessful.  Think about how God is actually answering a lot of the unspoken questions Moses could be asking. 

So now when someonw asks me to do something, I have a few approaches to use to help them while not overburdening myself.

Another tool for my widening toolbelt.  Yes, I could also learn to say no to more food.

This is the third of a series based upon the article The Real Leadership Lessons of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson.

Simplify

Ah, the beginning of summer.  Yes, it’s just the beginning – even though it’s 90 humid degrees here in DC.  The heat has one thing going for it.  It makes you simplify.  There is no way I am putting on an ounce of clothing deemed unnecessary on these scorchers.  And I am only walking as much as I absolutely have to.  In fact, I would boil my life down to work and pool time if I could. 

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” read one of Apple’s early marketing pieces.

Steve Jobs tirelessly sought simplicity.  Like the little black dress, Jobs understood that it is the simplest tools that have the most resonance.  Please do not misunderstand.  The outcome is processes or products that are simple to use and simple to understand.  Making things that are simple is not easy.  Since summer is providing the impetus for this lesson, let’s look at the flip-flop.  A simpler shoe could not exist.  Yet, most flip-flops are supremely uncomfortable.  Simple but ineffective.  The genius of leadership is to find the way to make something the most effective or of the highest quality AND simple.  I could wear my Teva’s anywhere.  Slip them on and off I go all summer long.  If only my feet were weatherproof I’d wear them in the winter too.

“It takes a lot of hard work,” Jobs said “to make something simple, to truly understand the underlying challenges and come up with elegant solutions.” 

Back to my little black dress.  Anyone can cut a simple line of a dress out of black material. (Well, I couldn’t, but you get my point)  The genius of the great designer is having an elegant, simple sheath that fits you like a glove in comfort and makes you look fabulous.  That’s not easy.  (I refer only to myself with that comment – not saying anything about others’ figures)

OK, so how does this apply to our everyday leadership?  So many times we are looking at complex answers to simple questions.  What would happen if we kept asking ourselves, how can I make this simpler?  The questions should be complex, the outcomes simple. 

We can apply this in our lives too – at our core we can discover what we want out of life.  Is this a complex picture or a simple one?  What happens when we keep fine-tuning our vision to its simplest essence?  How wonderful it would be to have that clarity of purpose to go through life.  Don’t get me distracted by globbing on unnecessary clutter in my vision. 

“The Lord protects the simple.”  (Psalms 116:6)

Yesterday I was having a familiar conversation with my son.  It went something like this:

“I need new shoes.”

“Really?  Didn’t we just buy you new sneakers at the beginning of basketball season four months ago?”

“Yes, but I wore them all season and now the tread has worn down and I need new ones.”

“So, you would like new shoes.”

“Yes, and I need them.”

Our “needs” have gotten out of control.  Somehow we have found ourselves in a condition where we never have enough.  This is not a kid-centered phenomenon.  As adults our needs might change, yet we will hear the refrain “there’s just not enough _____” (time, money, attention, staff…).  At the dinner table I hear it – “don’t take too much pasta, there’s not going to be enough…”  Truth is, even if there was less pasta then desired; it was still enough to fill everyone’s stomachs.

This week’s Torah portion discusses the limitation on food.  It outlines animals and birds that can be eaten and those that cannot.  No reasons are given for these laws.  Many people look at these restrictions as having much to do with health concerns.  However, it could just be a limitation for the sake of limiting.  It could be teaching us the value of sufficiency.

Sufficiency is a way of being – I am sufficient / there is enough.  It doesn’t really matter if you can eat everything you see.  Or if you can only eat three of many things you see.  You just need to have enough to fill your stomach.  You might want more.  You just don’t need more.

What’s the difference? (My kids’ favorite rejoinder)   The difference shows up in your state of being.  Are you satisfied?  If I feel I need the shoes and I don’t get them, I find myself incomplete.  If I want the shoes and don’t need them, if I get them WOW, if I don’t, I’m disappointed.  My being has not been affected – I am still whole.

Sufficiency has a deep reliance on forces outside yourself.  It’s a belief that you’re not in it by yourself – it’s trusting the universe or God as your partner.  You could have thought “what if ALL there is around me is shellfish or anything else I can’t eat?”  If you feel sufficient, you trust that there will be something for you to eat – the universe will provide something to sustain you and you don’t have to be worrying about what if’s.

Here’s a what if to consider today –

                What if you believed you had everything you need to live a great life already?

How would that change your outlook and interactions throughout your day?

“Sufficiency is the exquisite state of being where you are enough, you have enough and you envision a world where this is true for all." - Kay Sandberg

Spoiler Alert!!

There has to be something about a movie that rakes in $373 million in just two weeks that speaks to people.  On one level, The Avengers is a wonderfully executed action movie – plenty of star power, just enough killing and maiming to keep it interesting but not enough to scare off the kids, and a terrific sense of humor.  The characters are somewhat sympathetic and there is a touch of relationship building but nothing too sappy or deep. Other action movies have had this winning formula. So what is resonating so strongly with people that the box office keeps growing faster than a speeding bullet? (Sorry, wrong superhero)

The Avengers is a tale for today’s society.

Leadership manifested by this group of superheroes is a very contemporary reflection of our leaders.  Let’s change some of the characters’ names and see what we think.  What if we called Captain America, Barack?  Iron Man, Mitt?  The Hulk, maybe Newt?  Is it too much to call Black Widow, Hillary?  We could go with Sarah.

Each of these heroes is completely wrapped up in his or her game.  They fight each other just as much as they fight the common enemy.  They are all outsiders – misfits – yet are also admired.  Each one is a remarkable leader in his or her own way.  Left to themselves, they can never band together enough to solve any problem.  So, as Agent Coulson put it so insightfully, working together would never happen unless they had something to … avenge.

Avengers is an apt name for this crew and for our times.  Having a common enemy isn’t enough to bring us together.  We bicker about the desired course of action.  We malign each other’s motives.  We cannot appear to be agreeing with anyone else or somehow our power is threatened.

Why do we have to wait until tragedy strikes to get it together?

One of my favorite mysteries in the movie is Bruce Banner's sudden ability to control the Hulk after the death of Agent Coulson.  What??? 

While it doesn’t make much sense in this context, it is a metaphor for more human existence.  We always have the power to control our lives.  We simply believe it to be too hard until we are forced to. When faced with crisis we are suddenly capable of doing so many things that seemed out of our reach before.  But in truth, they weren’t.

People have always been like this – a bit lazy until the **** hits the fan.  So what’s new?

What’s new is that “Avengers” is whipping “Superman’s" butt.  We have lost “truth, justice and the American way,” for “Avengers assemble.”  Come together after crisis, not come together to fight for ideals. Sure, I can drop everything and travel to Haiti to work on humanitarian aid after the earthquake.  Honestly, though, conditions in Haiti weren’t much better before the earthquake either.  Where were we all then?  We need to take control now – not wait until it is almost too late.  We find ourselves waiting for the bottom to fall out before we move.  This is not something we can afford.  Not for our country, not for our organizations, not for ourselves.

I realize it’s strange to draw real life lessons from a movie, but if there is one, here’s what I find.  Success – unmitigated, record-breaking success – can be had by bringing together a remarkable group of people to fight for one common cause.  Let’s not wait for the next tragedy to hit us before we can reach those heights.

Courtesy of my friend Jenny Lyss, I simply give you a link to a New York Times article published after 9/11 that gives a valuable leadership perspective after the tragic incident in Boston.

New York Times

While feeling the depth of sorrow for those killed and injured, it is good for us to focus on all the good people in the world, and what we can do to continue to outweigh the evil.

I know many of you out there are just waiting for an update on my P90X progress.  Yes, I am nearing the completion of day 90.  As I sit here munching on blueberries where a few short months ago it would have been cookies or crackers, I am struck by how much we can learn from our bodies.

When I began the program I talked about the joys of discomfort.  As leaders we need to embrace the pain that comes from leading change.  Now sitting here after months of hard work, I can say that it does get easier.  My muscles are fatigued now after a workout, but not painful.  I gently get into bed as normal – not the crash into the mattress after struggling to stay upright in the shower that marked my first weeks.  As I continue to push my body harder, it isn’t revolting anymore by seizing up and “screaming” NO MORE. 

Sure, some of the enthusiasm has died and I’m not watching everything I put into my mouth quite the same way.  I’ve relaxed into a “normative” mode.

But it’s a new normal.

Two and a half months and I am back to a “normal” I haven’t seen in at least five years.  Not that I hadn’t tried other methods of getting back there.  Just nothing had worked.  What was different here?  Intensity. 

The P90X program brings a level of intensity and challenge that fuels an

attainable vision of your future.

We all know deep down that change comes with hard work.  So if a program promises results without the work, we don’t really buy into it.  If someone floats a vision to you and says “it will only take a little focus on our part to make it happen,” we don’t really buy it.  Tony Hawk (P90X-man) says right up front – if you want this, you can have it, but your gonna have to bring it.  Every day.  Every time.

This kind of intense program comes with warning after warning – this is not for everyone.  There is nothing wrong if you want to take a year to achieve the vision you have for yourself – or if you don’t want to put in the work at all.  Some – much to our collective chagrin – don’t need to work at all to maintain fitness – and more power to them.  But the select few (and there are more than you might think) who can thrive in this challenging environment can achieve great things, fast.

Leadership lesson.   Leadership should come with a warning.  This is not for everyone.  Great leadership is intense.  If you step up to this plate, accept the challenge, revel in the discomfort, knowing that soon you will create a new normal.  Push yourself and others consistently – every day, every time.  Let’s do this together.  Our new year’s resolution – BRING IT.

Our prayers are with Congresswoman Giffords as she fights for a full recovery after falling prey to a deranged man with intent to kill.

As leaders we must reflect on the very real dangers leadership can bring. 

There has been a lot of talk about the cause of the shooting.  Why are we so uncomfortable with accepting that some people are unstable and will act irrationally?  We cannot process the unpredictability of that situation.  We need to believe that life is within ours, or at least someone’s, control.  So instead we look for reasons and blame anyone we can.  Yes, there is also an element of partisanship and waging a political war (there I went and used that “violent” language) at any opportunity.  But the root of the ability for these “arguments” to take hold is our desire to find meaning in the killings.  It is hard to accept that random acts of violence can occur and that it will naturally occur to people in the spotlight.

Putting yourself out in the public eye does put a target on your back.  The size of the target depends upon your position.

Leadership takes courage. 

Courage is one of those intangible traits that inspires people to follow.  It ranks consistently as an indisputable quality for leadership.  Throughout history leaders have been the target of violence and rebellion, both verbal and physical.  Certainly we are familiar with the myriad of times Moses was attacked verbally by his followers.  In fact in the Torah portion we read last week, B'shalach, Moses cries to God "One more minute and these people will stone me!"  Even Moses felt the imminent danger of his leadership position (and he knew God had his back).  What about King David?  David was selected by God to be King.  That didn’t stop Saul from trying to murder him.  And David’s own children attempted assassinations in power plays to become the next ruler. 

Leadership Lesson:  Are we afraid?  Hell yes!  “Courage isn’t an absence of fear.  It’s doing what you are afraid to do.” (John Maxwell)  We should have a healthy fear when stepping into leadership.  There are real dangers.  But we must see the danger and do it anyway.  Where will we be if we don’t?

Our human tendency is to pounce on other people’s mistakes.  So when someone makes a mistake on live television on the most watched TV event of the year, it tends to make a lot noise.  Sure it’s embarrassing for Christina Aguilera that she flubbed the words to our national anthem.  But we all make mistakes.  And singing a capella in that situation is bound to be intense.  We could chalk it up as a human condition.  Or we could take it as a symbol of something greater at work.

Ms. Aguilera’s mistake is a bellwether for our national condition.

An anthem is a song of celebration, usually acting as a symbol for a distinct group of people.  Our national anthem is the mission statement of our country. Yes, it is chronicling a specific event in time, but it is also a metaphor for the lengths we will go to ensure people’s freedom.  Every American should be so well versed in the mission that the anthem trips off the tongue – even when you’re nervous.  It should be a matter of “muscle memory” something you have done so many times that you don’t think it through anymore, it just happens.  Clearly this was not the case with Ms. Aguilera. 

It is leadership who needs to take notice.

This incident reminds me of all the YouTube videos my kids howl at where the basic premise is that the people being interviewed have so little knowledge of important facts that it’s funny.  My favorite is “Ending Women’s Suffrage” (click here).  Or the popular “Jaywalking” segments on the Tonight Show (click here).  We laugh, when in reality it is a telling measure of the national condition.

We wonder about the state of our country.  What does it say about us if people aren’t even rooted in the basics of what we stand for? 

Mission statements are critical. 

They need to be something every member of our “group” can recite in their sleep.  How can we not know the words to our anthem of freedom?  How can we not understand the right to vote? 

Education is not about learning antiquated facts from yesteryear.  It is about understanding how those facts affect our lives today.  The War of 1812 is long over.  Our defense of freedom is never over, no matter how many holes might be shot through our flag.

Jewish learning is the same.  We do not study the Bible for a history lesson.  In it are values and proscriptions for living our best life today.  Our people fall prey to groups like Jews for Jesus if they are not firmly rooted in our anthem – The Lord is our God, the Lord is One, from our Shema.  Belief in one God.  That’s the core mission.

Each of us should have our own mission as well. 

Personal missions should be as clear to us as organizational missions and should guide our decision-making.

Leadership Lesson: Focus on mission.  Your organization’s mission should easily trip off the tongue of every member.  Let people see it everywhere (singing it might not be practical). Put it on the top of your agendas, hang it as a banner, make it your email tag.  There should never be an excuse for someone to flub the mission. Even if it’s not in front of millions of people, it could be in front of the most important people.

04/13/2010
This is an interesting period in the Jewish year. The period between Passover and the holiday of Shavuot is literally called "The Count (sefira)." Passover recalls the wonderous story of our exodus from Egypt and all the miracles that accompanied that journey. Shavuot celebrates the giving of the Torah and the beginning of our national relationship with God.

For many years the idea that these two holidays are inextricably linked by the period of "counting" has intrigued me. Each day we count toward the commemoration of the events of Mount Sinai. We leave the slavery in Egypt only to look forward to binding ourselves to the law of God. There are many commentaries and philosphical ideas (well worth your time if you haven't thought about it recently) dintinguishing between freedom from and freedom to. Passover represents a freedom from slavery and the oppression of others. Shavuot represents a freedom to live your life with meaning and commitment to something greater than yourself, a relationship with God.

But what of the counting? As I watched the Masters (golf tournament) this past weekend - and no I was not one of the Tiger-gawkers -- although as an aside, how awesome (and ironic?) was it that Phil Mickelson won this year - a year in which his wife battled cancer and he stood by her through all the rough stuff??-- but back to counting. As I watched the Masters, I was struck by all the counting they were doing. Golf is a game of counting. It all comes down to the number of strokes. You win, not by besting the course, but by besting the other player's stroke count. The lower the better.

Golf is about counting down - the further negative you go as you near the final destination (the 18th hole), the better your chance of winning.

Our counting period counts up. We start at Day One and count all the way to Day Forty Nine. The higher we have counted, the closer we get to our destination. We aren't losing numbers, we keep gaining.

Leadership lesson: When a goal is truly valuable - when you are inspiring people to attain the goal - work your way towards it. Let everything you do and say build toward the goal. Counting down points in the other direction. True, we are so used to it sometimes we don't think about the psychological impact of our counting direction. New Year's Eve we count down to the new year. But what are we saying? We are saying "goodbye". Goodbye to the old year. We are looking back expressing that we are happy to have it over. It's complete. It's finished. We got to zero. No where left to go. Counting up indicates just the opposite. We are looking forward. We have reached the target - but that target is not necessarliy the end. There are always more numbers - more places to go. We achieved this goal - let's celebrate - but let's also inspire each other to continue growing. What's the next goal?

05/18/2010
I have just spent an awful lot of time reconfiguring our blog to bring it into the new "point & click" era. Please note the amazon links now available in our "on our bookshelf" section to the right. (for those of you on email hit http://inspiredjewishleadership.blogspot.com/. )

Adding this widget took an awful lot of learning, processing, trial and error and time! Sometimes we forget how much work goes into learning new things. I was just discussing this with my youngest son as he tried to make his way through "Take me out to the ballgame" on his guitar. He did not want to hear that it was an unreasonable expectation that he would just pick up the guitar and play the song correctly the first time he tried. We cannot learn that way. If it is too easy, that means we already knew it. Nothing new. And it's not limited to intellectual or musical learning. I am having the same struggle with my exercise routine. If I work out for an hour and my muscles do not feel tight the next day, have I really introduced them to something harder? If I can make it through an entire workout the first time I try doesn't that mean that I did not push myself enough?

Learning should be and needs to be a process. We are now at Erev Shavuot - the dawning of the holiday where we celebrate the acceptance of the Torah and the Jewish way of life. Judaism is all about constant learning. The system is set up so that there is always more to learn, more to do, ways to improve. Some people have the custom to stay up all night the first night of Shavuot (Tikun Lail Shavuot) learning. Why? Because we were given such an enormous gift that we typically squander our opportunities to learn from it. There is never enough time in the day to devote to learning about our Jewish values and heritage and how that then impacts our lives.

Learning takes a lot of time, energy and resources (mental and physical). We make mistakes along the way. We re-learn. (I think I have forgotten an entire curriculum already) Don't get frustrated. It is all part of the process. What does Miley Cyrus say? "Ain't about what's waiting on the other side...It's the climb."

Leadership Lesson: Leaders need to learn. Challenge yourself constantly. Go to classes. Try new things on the web. Constantly ask yourself: How can I use this? Reflect. What will I do with this new learning? What impact will it make upon me? How will I use it to impact the world? Stretch yourself and you will stretch the world.

05/25/2010
First Who. One of the very first principles of Jim Collins' leadership book Good to Great. Collins agrues that the very first job of a great leader is to get the right people on the bus and the wrong people off the bus. Only then can the group together figure out where to drive the bus.

Too often these days I hear of organizations losing the "right" people. Many excuses are offered up for these layoffs or missed opportunities. We can't afford him. She is being paid beyond her rank. And the one that really gets my juice flowing, we don't have a spot for him right now.

In Good to Great Collins talk about Wells Fargo's CEO Dick Cooley who saw change in the air but didn't know which way the wind would blow. So he began recruiting "one of the most talented management teams in the industry." "They hired outstanding people whenever and wherever they found them, often without any specific job in mind."

Once people are on the bus, then you can find the right seats.

We shoot ourselves in the foot when we wait for opportunities to open up before we will hire great people. Are you truly going to say that your organization is better off with "good" people occupying the seats than if you had "great" people in the seats? How do you get the great people? Are they magically coming along just as one of your spots open up? Who believes that life works so cleanly?

And what of those you let off the bus? I am reminded of the curse of the bambino (I guess I have lived with Yankee fans too long). Who thinks that the Red Sox trade of Babe Ruth was a good idea? Once you have a star -- keep him -- or her. It's a matter of cost? What is it going to cost you when your organization declines? It's a matter of fit? Great people are flexible. They have great talents that lie beyond the square peg. Find a place they can shine and bring light to the organization.

The book of Genesis is a study in getting the right people on the bus. God tries over and over again to find the right people to be his servants. God first seeks out all mankind in Adam through Noah's generation. When Abraham appears in the Bible he is selected as the "right" man for the job. His children and grandchildren aren't all so lucky, though. God chooses some of the family members to carry on the servant mission but not all. I am not one who believes that Lot, Ishmael, and Esav were "bad" people. The just weren't the "right" people for this job. Ishmael and Esav founded great nations of their own. But this particular task called for a particular type of greatness and that was found in Isaac and Jacob. Neither one had an easy entry into their "jobs." However, once chosen by God, God would not let them fail.

Sometimes it is true that there are two forces at work here - the worker and the organization. Not every time will there be a win-win. But as John Maxwell says in Leadership 101, you must always try for win-win. Put your best effort into it. Finding the next great person will take a whole lot more work.

Leadership Lesson: Search for great people. Recruit them to your cause. Find/Make room for them. Have their back. Don't lose them. (You can apply this for great friends just as well)

05/27/2010
I know I just wrote yesterday, but I had to comment on the American Idol finale last night.

Lee DeWyze won. OK. Everyone knows this season was a yawner. But in the results last night the American Idol pattern reared its head again. As Lisa de Moraes of the Washington Post put it, "DeWyze follows the Super Safe Kinda Beige Rocker Boy winner" of Kris Allen and David Cook. In fact most of the winners have been the plain vanilla type. Of course many can sing wonderfully, but they are not "entertainers." And there have been mega stars hitting the stage of Idol for years. Remember Tamyra Gray? She was the first victim of the "you might be incredibly talented, but we won't vote for you" syndrome. Jennifer Hudson? Daughtry? Lambert? Even more interesting is the phenomenon of people voting to catapult someone to victory on Idol but then not buying their albums. What's going on here?

There is something about a contest at work here I believe. When we pit people against each other we tend to make the "safe" choices. And the contestants understand that. The judges kept asking the singers to be "true to themselves" and "make it your own." Many times "our own" is pretty boring. Sure, we get it - but who else does? Crystal was "her own." Lampert certainly was his "own." And yet they were so different in every meaningful way in entertaining. Lampert's "own" was a carefully crafted persona - yes it reflects his personality but it is so much more than that. He amplifies his version of the world a la Lady Gaga. In music we want to be entertained. There has to be something in it for us - not just to admire someone else's voice.

So there are really two lessons here. First, contests will not get us to the "right" answer. It becomes the most popular answer. And as Idol beautifully illustrates, the consensus is usually too safe to make a splash.

Second, someone who wants to inspire others, whether through singing or in leadership capacities, needs to be "out there." There needs to be something dynamic, something for people to hang on to. Even the Idol winners who now have successful careers learned how to entertain. Kelly Clarkson has incredible pipes. But only when she was listening to great music producers was she seeing success in the public domain. One look at her attempt to go it alone, to "own" her self and music proved that she doesn't quite "get it" yet. Carrie Underwood "owns" it and amplifies it. She is country, but so much more.

Leadership Lesson: To lead in a big way, you have to "bring it". You need to take who you are and what you stand for and amplify it for inspiration. Leaders are always on stage. And don't try to lead by consensus. Decisions will be too safe to be successful. Listen to everyone. Get all inputs and opinions. There is a difference between voting and building. Use your team to build. Build an idea to make it strong. Don't turn your important decisions into a contest. The greatest ideas will lose.

WikiLeaks has brought up a lot of interesting conversation lately.  Are we better off with more knowledge or less?  Do we have a “right” to know it all?  More importantly to me – do we want to?  All this looking behind the glass – has it gotten us better leadership?  No.  How many good people out there want to subject themselves to the media’s level of scrutiny?  And that’s just on the personal level.  We have corroded the meaning of authority to the point where our children don’t even recognize it.  We are creating a “Cheers” culture – where everybody knows your name, and your business – oh, and has an opinion about it (which I guess is hypocritical of me since I am writing this in my blog – the ultimate destination of the opinionated).

Not everyone believes this is a problem.  My colleague, Anton Goodman, our shaliach from Israel, argues in his blog today that Israel has a public fascination with uncovering the inner workings of higher authority.  Certainly as a native Washingtonian, there is a local fascination with being “in the know.”  But the knowledge was limited.  People in positions of authority were trusted – at least a little.  Many blew that trust.  But creating an environment of no-trust is losing the war for ourselves. 

Without trust there is no respect. 

We need a healthy respect and maybe a little dose of awe for our leaders to succeed.  Anton uses the Israeli experience of familiarity to argue for a more personal relationship with the state.  Really?  How many times do Israeli governments collapse under a vote of no confidence?  I would challenge that young Israelis today feel more distant from Israel, viewing it as a place they happen to live in, able to leave it behind in a heartbeat if the right opportunity arrives.  “Personalizing” erodes respect and then we become buddies – people I could find in any other bar in the world.

Parents struggle with the same issues.  Do you want to be their friend or their parent?  How many friends will they have?  How many parents?  When we lose the respect and authority that comes with a position, we compromise our ability to function in that position.  The White House Chief of Staff might be the President’s best friend, but in the White House he still calls her “Ms. President.”

Couples struggle as well.  In order to maintain a strong relationship there are boundaries to set.  I don’t always need to know everything, or experience everything.  I need to experience trust.  No people are as close as a couple.  But over-familiarity will erode the relationship. 

Let’s not be bamboozled by the conspiracists who want us to believe that they are doing us a favor by pulling back the curtain.  We put the curtain up for a reason.

First let me just say that I will take credit for the last Glee episode on anthems.  You never know who reads your blog.  Even though somehow they interpreted anthems as the Bieber experience.  Maybe I’ll explore Justin Bieber’s leadership qualities in another entry.

For today, I was inspired by love.  Valentine’s day for me is somewhat like Christmas. My husband and I do not celebrate the holiday (God gave us enough holidays in our year) and it is challenging to be around all the hearts and gifts without being sucked in.  In my efforts at detachment I started thinking about how we find the one we love.  Many of us start with lists.  In our heads at the very least we enumerate all the characteristics we are looking for in our partner.

But what comes of that list?  Not much.  As we search for the “right” person, holding fast to our “list” becomes a liability. 

We never meet the exact one.  We meet the right one.

There is something that tells us in our gut that this is the right person.  Some call it chemistry.  Whatever its name, we know it when we see it, or feel it.

We throw out the list and make it work.

There really isn’t much difference whether you are on a date or in a job interview.  No matter what your list – in this case a job description – you will never find the exact fit.  Hopefully, you find the right fit.  And then you adjust your description to that right person. 

Great leaders, to borrow a phrase from Jim Collins, get the right people on the bus. There is not always an open seat.  Sometimes you didn’t even think there was a bus stop.  To be a leader you have to see what might not be obvious.  Sure you worked hard on the description, you thought you knew what you needed.

You have to be willing to re-think, re-evaluate and pick the person up.

Leadership Lesson: The right person is the key.  The rest can be figured out.  Pick up the person you know is right even if not the exact fit.

08/18/2010
As the race heats up for DC mayor, people are pulling out all the stops.  In this morning's Washington Post Courtney Milloy ran an article entitled "Arrogance has cost Fenty the support of this wise woman."  While I have no horse in the mayor's race, I found it interesting that Milloy chose arrogance as his weapon of choice.

For leaders there is a fine line between "arrogance" and "confidence."  When I say "we will get this done," am I being cocky? Determined? Inspiring? 

We all need the confidence to do what needs to be done.  How can we make changes and hard decisions if we don't believe in ourselves and our vision? 

So what is "arrogance" that turns people off and does the opposite of inspire?  This woman from Milloy's article proves her wisdom when she states, "[Arrogance] keeps you from admitting your mistakes and makes it impossible for you to learn from them."  Arrogance, then, is more like "infallibility." 

Leadership lesson:  None of us are supermen.  We are not God.  As Miley Cyrus sings "everybody makes mistakes."  To think that somehow our confidence indicates that we will not make a misstep is the critical flaw that leads to arrogance.  We will get this done.  But it might not be as I originally envisioned.  Possibilities exist that might mean I have to rethink, accept criticism, retool, debate and recommit.  I might have to apologize and change my actions.  This is all part of the confidence that comes with leadership.  The confidence to admit when you are wrong -- and that it does not detract from your leadership ability, it enhances it.  This is the humility of Moses. In the Bible he does wrong and thinks wrong, and he admits it, apologizes for it and takes his consequences for it.  But he never loses his confidence to lead.

08/25/2010
Even though I tend to buy my coffee more at Panera these days, Starbucks always provides a source of inspiration for me.  Yesterday, my son and I stopped in a Starbucks on our way to the dentist (you always have to balance the "yucky" responsibilities with a little "yummy" fun).  While we were waiting for our drinks I saw a pile of mugs on the counter.  Now, admittedly, the last thing I need is another mug, but this one caught my eye as the only word on it was "REINVENT".  I thought, yes, this is something to look at every morning.

What would happen if every day I thought about the need to reinvent? Not reinvent the wheel - reinvent my world, my work, my self.  What is an impetus for reinvention?  The realization that things can be even better than they are.  Life does not have to be dysfunctional to want to start it anew.  In fact, many times it is those of us who are happy with the way things are going that desire reivention.  Why start over if you don't like the thing in the first place?  It is the recognition of the good that allows us to make it even better.  But incremental change isn't always enough.  Our world is moving at lightning speed (or at least internet speed).  The sands under us are shifting - and that's not a bad thing - only a recognition of different.  So let's reinvent.

Our Jewish tradition gives us ample opportunity for reinvention.  Our religion changes over time.  The practices that any one of us keep are vastly different from those of our ancestors like Abraham and Isaac.  This time of year is the pinnacle of reinvention.  We are entering the High Holy Days in just a few short weeks.  No need to wait until we are standing in Synagogue to start thinking about what we would change in our lives.  Let's start re-imagining, re-inventing and re-committing.

Now every morning I come to work and look at my mug reminding me to start my day creatively.  And the best part?  The mug was on sale!  See, sometimes the best ideas can be the bargain ones.

Leadership Lesson:  Start every day thinking about what you need to reinvent today.  What area needs your attention?  What isn't getting you the desired results?  Maybe it needs an overhaul.  Invention is about trial and error -- so try and evaluate.  Maybe you'll strike upon the million dollar idea.

Life runs in cycles.  We’re up, and then we’re down.  What do we do after the “crash”? How do we lift ourselves back up to equilibrium again?

We re-group.  We gather ourselves and then our team together and make a conscious decision to move forward and climb out of the hole we find ourselves in.

This is not to be underrated.  This ability to re-group is one of the top traits a leader should possess.  It is born of optimism and determination.

We can look to this week’s Torah portion for inspiration on the mechanics of re-grouping.  Last week we read about Israel’s descent with the Golden Calf.  Upon fearing that Moses had disappeared, the people asked Aaron to build them a golden calf to act as their intermediary to God.  This concept was a direct throw-back to idolatry and caused Moses, who returned shortly thereafter, to shatter the Ten Commandments on the ground.  Clearly the people were not ready.  These circumstances cause a civil war and many to die in a plague.  The people are devastated.

This week’s portion picks up right after.  How is Moses going to “right” this ship?  How does he get the people back on board? 

Moses begins by gathering the people around him.  He doesn’t send an email.  He doesn’t tell a few close advisors and ask them to disseminate the information. 

He brings the entire people to him.  He speaks directly. 

What can he tell them?  Does he say – look people, I know you made a mistake, God has forgiven you, now let’s just see that it doesn’t happen again?  Does he berate them into betterment?  No.  Moses takes a truly inspired tack.  He brings the people together and reminds them of the basics of who they are and what makes them unique.  He reminds them of the commandment of the Sabbath.  The Sabbath has two purposes: one to remind us that God is above us and we are not the sole contributors to this earth, to show the world the holiness in not-doing – to sanctify the quiet humility, and two, to unify the people through this day of community.  He says, in short, we celebrate this day together.  No one else shares our purpose.  It is not a vision.  It is not a rah-rah piece.  After a devastation we need grounding.  A leader literally must rebuild the ground under our feet.  Then, we can begin the ascent again.  Moses brought the people back together and from there they were able to prepare to build God’s temple and enter Israel.

Living in DC, one of the most beautiful times of year is early spring when the Cherry Blossom trees bloom.  Even though this year the temperature seems to be fluctuating between mid-spring upper 60’s and winter 40’s, the trees are still hatching their delicate pink and white flowers.  It is the harbinger of the beautiful days ahead.

                                       This year the blossoms hold even more significance.

The cherry trees that line the Tidal Basin downtown and are the site of the cherry blossom festival were a gift from Japan.  The timing of the flowering of these trees in the wake of the horrible devastation can be a source of learning.

The earthquake and tsunami were part of the natural order.  The earth shifts, and as such sets off the dominoes that resulted in waves overtaking cities.  It is a bit odd that we call this a natural “order” – there is very little that we know about the “order” of the natural world.  We have but a small glimpse of the trillions of “natural laws” that govern our world.  And so we are subject to its “whims”.  The tragedy in Japan was caused by water – the shifting of the water’s floor and the subsequent rapid movement of the water.

The cherry blossoms line the water of the tidal basin.  The basin itself was designed to capture the waters at high tide – to add the human regulation of the waters.  The cherry blossoms soak up this water and flourish from its nurturing.  The trees’ cycle operate by the very “natural order” of the world. 

                                       From dust we are made, and to dust we shall return.

Every natural element has the power to nurture and the power to destroy.  Sometimes wielding this power is within our control and sometimes it isn’t. 

                                       This natural lesson can help us in living our best lives. 

Leadership Lesson: For everything that is within our control, we need to be sure we are using them for good.  Making the world around us better.  Encouraging and strengthening people.  Reaching beyond our current reality to inspire a positive future.

Maybe if we seize the elements within our control, our acceptance of the things beyond us is a little easier.  Nothing makes tragedy acceptable.  And we mourn for all those who lost their lives in these events.  And we look to the cherry blossoms to know that there is another side to water – one that sustains growth.

I was watching the Oscars last Sunday night and thinking that there really were some great movies out this year.  And all so different.  I did not envy the Academy voters. 

How do you compare them to select a winner? 

They were all great in their own way.  Whether it was a classic story of overcoming obstacles in a highly charged situation, the inventive genius that could imagine a world of layered dreams, the tale of someone clawing his way to the top or an animated film that managed to bring you to tears.  They were so different, and so good.

It got me thinking about people.  Leaders in particular. Many of us fall into the trap of believing that there is a “best” way.  That there is a great leader-type.  But people are even more varied than the movies they create.  There aren’t ten great people a year, there are millions.  Each unique.  Leaders come in every different package, emphasizing different aspects of our natures.  So how to we determine which is the best? 

Maybe what we learn from the Oscars is that we don’t have to.

Sure, one film wins the prize, but as the cliché goes, it’s an honor just to be nominated.  I am grateful to have seen most of the films nominated for best picture (I admit I couldn’t stomach the gore in 127 hours or Winter’s Bone).  I wouldn’t want to have to choose just one.  Every picture I saw gave me something else to think about or to feel or to grapple with.  Leaders I meet are the same.  Each presents a point of view that I have to take in and process.  Some I like more than others.  Most are valuable.

Leadership Lesson:  Encourage the different leaders around you.  You don’t have to pick your favorite.  Learn from all of them.  Nominate as many as you can.  Do that and you’ll be the one who walks home with the gold.

While many of us are up to our ears in cleaning, shopping and stressing over the impending holiday of Passover, let’s take a minute to remember that this holiday is about more than cleaning our homes – it is about cleaning up our lives.

What are we pursuing in our lives?

I know that sounds a bit funny.  Most of us aren’t “pursuing” anything.  Life is pursuing us.  And that’s the point.

We need to take control of our direction.  What is it that we care about?  What do we want to accomplish?  What effect do we want to have on the world?  Passover is the holiday of freedom.  Freedom allows us to decide for ourselves.  Are we pursuing wealth?  Are we pursuing fame?  Are we pursuing revenge?  Are we pursuing good?  In what manner do we wish to spend our time here?  What do we wish to leave behind?

Leadership Lesson: As leaders we should recognize the freedom to choose our path.  We have constraints to be sure, as all of do in every area of our lives, but the choice remains ours.  What is our organization pursuing?  Ask yourself – do you know what reputation your organization desires? Do you know your vision of “success”?  Are you keenly aware of who benefits from your work?  Do you know who you are not servicing? 

I realize that’s a lot more than four questions for this holiday. 

Freedom means choice. 

We can’t have it all.  So choose mindfully.  If we try to be everything and help everyone we will wind up helping no one.  Sometimes we need to “pass over” opportunities in order to pursue our path.  Clean out the areas that are distracting you from your true objective.  Then have a great holiday!

Today we are losing a sense of a physical community.  All around us our “communal life” is going virtual.  Instead of linking ourselves to a community, we link to a myriad of communities – everything from my professional community to my “obsessed with Dancing with the Stars” community.  There is a community for everyone (even terrorists) online.  And it has real benefits.  The sense that there are others like me is a wonderful and very human necessity.

But what I experienced last night was the lesson that physical communities cannot be overlooked.

One of the Jewish institutions in the Washington area is threatened with a breach of contract by our local government.  As any government should, the ruling body held a public hearing last night to air the arguments on both sides.  Hearings typically take place in the “hearing room”, an auditorium for the council members and seating for approximately 240 people.  This one, however, took place in that room filled to standing room in the back, in the overflow cafeteria with about 100 more people, in the halls, and in the stairwells, as people flooded the building in support of the institution.  There were close to 400 people in that small building.

It was one big community.  People arrived from other organizations, from other counties, from as far as 45 minutes away.  The sense of togetherness was palpable.  What brought this group together?  What forged this disparate community?  Action.  Some represented the neighborhood that appreciated the actions taken by the organization that made their lives safer.  Some were families the organization educated.  Some were leaders who worked with this organization and others for shared interests.  Whatever the outcome, the root of their connection was action.  Not so online.  Virtual communities connect.  Yet they connect passively.  I only have to type to reach you right now.  My main goal is to inspire you to act.  Actions are manifested in physical communities.  Virtual communities can connect us to opportunities to act.  Through our actions we forge community.

Sure, everyone had written letters and emails were very effective in raising awareness of the issues.  But to stare at a building filled with people committed enough to a cause to come out on the last real working night of the Thanksgiving week – that was power.  That’s community.  That’s America.

We are a strange people at times. 

I was baking humantashen for Purim (that’s the traditional cookie for the holiday of Purim – which is celebrated this Sunday) using my associate’s fantastic recipe, which you can find on the pizzabagelschmaltz blog - http://pizzabagelschmaltz.tumblr.com/.

I started thinking about the symbolism of this very tasty food.  Humantashen are basically sugar cookies filled with poppy traditionally, but now the more modern strawberry, apricot, chocolate or even as I am trying – peppermint patties.  They are shaped into triangles.  Why triangles?  Well, there starts the story.

Humantashen represent Haman.

Haman was a high- ranking minister in the Persian Empire (sometime around the 500’s BCE) who got his eyes set on destroying the Jews apparently because one Jew upset him.  Tradition goes that Haman wore a three cornered hat.  I guess that style didn’t really catch on until George Washington’s time because this was a feature that made him stand out from everyone else.

Thankfully, Mordecai and Esther were in the right place at the right time and put a stop to Haman’s plans.  It turned out that Haman was the one who hanged and no Jews were killed.   

So back to our humantashen.  The tradition began that we bake and eat these cookie treats on the holiday – every Jewish holiday comes with food.  This food, however, represents the enemy – Haman – either because of the reference to his hat, or as the word means literally – his ears. Not sure how ears are three cornered, but maybe someone out there has an explanation for us.

We are literally “eating our enemy”.

Is this a Jewish value?  Sure we make sure we are safe and let everyone know that coming after us is not a good idea, but to be eating our enemy 2500 years later?  Isn’t that taking retribution a little far?

Maybe there is value in remembering not only our defeats – we commemorate many in our multitude of fast days – and our smaller victories, like Chanuka, but our triumphs.  And maybe it’s not childish or foolish to do so through a cookie. 

We take the bitterness of an enemy and make it into something sweet.

Leadership lesson: There is a lot to learn from commemorating an enemy’s defeat through a sweet reminder.  We cannot dwell on the bitterness of people that try to hurt us.  Not personally nor professionally.  That would just turn us bitter and vengeful in the end.  Nor do we want to “forgive and forget.”  You cannot turn your back on the history that defines you.  So what to do?  Remember, but with a sense of the accomplishment you had in triumph.  Now that’s sweet.

What do you think?

Is Passover a celebration of the past?  It makes sense.  So much of the Holiday is about remembering.  We say over and again “zecher l’tziyat mitzrayim” remembering the exodus from Egypt.  Seder night is one story after another.  All that happened many years ago. 

Is Passover about remembering our shared history?

Where does our past get us?  Stuck.  At least according to Eckhart Tolle.  In The Power of Now, A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Tolle argues that the only relevant time for us is now.  And what about the shared occurrences that made us a nation? “Nothing ever happened in the past, it happened in the now.”  The past is only a memory trace – a former now.  When we try to do anything it must be in the now.  No other time exists for us.  Even remembering happens now.

We say in the Hagaddah, the canonized sequence of the seder, that we should feel on Seder night as if we ourselves were leaving Egypt.  When my kids were young, we translated this as getting everyone up from the table and literally throwing satchels over our backs and walking around the room as if we were part of the caravan leaving Egypt.  But the Hagaddah had something much less concrete but more profound in mind.  We must bring the past into the now.  Our memory of the event brings it into the present.  Then we are being freed at that moment.

What would our Seders look like if we were able to bring a little of that moment to life in the present?

Imagine the conversations that would take shape, the attitudes that would adjust if we let ourselves feel that moment of freedom.  Two hundred years of slavery and we are walking out.  Can I tap into that sense of joy?  Sometimes I think of Natan Sharansky walking over the bridge out of Soviet Russia.  Or maybe it’s just Kramer’s “Serenity now!”  I want to be fully present in that happiness and fulfillment.

I think this year we will walk around the table again.  But this time we won’t carry satchels, we’ll carry our new awareness of how free we are privileged to be.

Leadership Lesson: We all have pasts.  Our organizations have pasts.  In order to fully learn from and appreciate that which went before us, we must bring that past into the present.  Don’t leave it to be “remembered.”  Search for the relevance to our now.  It could change everything.

“If we are laughing and having fun, people tend to want to be around us and are drawn to us.”

                                                                Ron Clark, “American Teacher of the Year” and Best-selling author

Laughter is magnetic.  There’s a reason that babies learn to smile so quickly.  It makes us forget about all the spit up and diapers.  We are drawn to that tiny smiley body.  And what about that emoticon? J He caught on fast!

As leaders we hope to inspire others to follow us.  The fastest way to do that is to draw people in with fun and especially laughter.

When was the last time you laughed at work?  When was the last time you laughed at a Board meeting?

As a teacher, I have seen classrooms transform after sharing a good joke together.  We are now bonded and open to each other in a way we avoided before.

Passing on traditions also relies on the “fun factor.”  We hope to hook people in – in many cases our families – to our values and way of life.  Chanuka provides us with just such an opportunity.  Chanuka is a serious story. Although one with a happy ending, it is a difficult journey.  And yet, as we celebrate the miraculous nature of the story, we can find many opportunities for fun and laughter tied around traditions.  Fun is not gifts.  Sure, we all like a good present (in a little blue box sounds good to me) but more important to our legacy is not the gift, but the atmosphere surrounding the gift giving.  Many Christmas memories center not on the actual item received, but on waking up in the morning, running down to the tree, the family excitement as the gifts are exchanged and serving eggnog and French toast under the tree. (Can you see the Jewish fantasy at work there?)  But ask people their tie to Christmas and in most cases it is the traditions they will recount.  

What are the Jewish moments of sustainable fun? 

What traditions do we build around gift giving?  What fun and excitement do we create around candle lighting?  If we choose service projects, how do we make them fun, meaningful experiences to take with us and make us want to do them again?

People join what makes them feel good.  Eventually we want to find meaning in the time we spend.  But our initial attraction is for the laughter.  What are you laughing about?  I need to know so I can get some of that cheer too.  Once you come over to talk with me, we can engage in more meaningful discussions that will keep you engaged.  But first, did you hear the one about the Rabbi, the Priest and the Imam?

The problem with New Year’s resolutions is that they are only forward looking.  How many years have you made a resolution only to find yourself in March without having truly put yourself into the resolution?  It’s a well-known phenomenon.  Health clubs count on it.  It’s there biggest revenue boost – found income without expenditure.  Membership rises but class sizes stay the same.  It’s intention without commitment.

What’s up with this lack of follow-through?  Resolutions tend to miss one key point.  We can’t change ourselves if we don’t know where we are going wrong.  We need the awareness of our stumbling blocks in order to stave them off.

Step one of a new year is to look back. 

What about last year disappointed us?  How would we want it to be different?  What blocked us from getting to that result last year?  What do I need to do differently to achieve my desired outcome this year?  Am I willing to do it?  What am I willing to do?  How can I find support in order to fulfill my goal?  What will I do if I begin to revert back to my old ways?

Formulate a real plan based on awareness of your past.

In Judaism we always look backward.  Many people do not understand this fascination with the past.  Study of ancient texts and law systems does not seem at first blush to be relevant to our current condition.  We are “living in the past.”  Yet, these critics miss the most crucial element of moving forward.   “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

Studying the past allows you to analyze what has worked and what has not.  We learn the behavior we need to ensure the outcomes we desire.

Leadership Lesson:  This is a lesson for life and leadership.  Constant looking over your shoulder for lessons of cause of effect, while remaining optimistic that different inputs will produce different outputs is the most critical element of adaptable leadership.  Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, calls for leaders to look at the present – confront the brutal facts – and I am asking for one step further.  Don’t just look at the brutal facts of today – accept the brutal facts of yesterday.  That way you can make tomorrow a success.

Over New Years you can be inundated with lists.  Top grossing films is one of my favorites (Toy Story 3!). The front headlines highlighted an interesting number one – facebook outpaced google for number one website, as determined by number of visits to the site.

The article interpreted this data as meaning that we are now more “social” than data seeking.  Is that true?  It seems to me that the rise of facebook is more from access now to people, well, like me.  Facebook is everywhere.  Not only in social situations – such as your or my personal page where it acts as a reunion of sorts, connecting me with people I haven’t thought of in years – but it has become a corporate must have.  Every company, divisions within companies, stores, outlets, doctors, lawyers, hairdressers, leadership advocates – they are all on facebook.  Radio stations drive listeners to their pages, bribing them to become their friends.  I would too, but nobody has given me passes to concerts in a while.

Is this social connectivity?

It is really just another medium for business connectivity.  Is there no distinction anymore between those two?  Sure, leaders have always leveraged personal connections for business purposes.  But I like to think there was an awareness that that was occurring.  Seems today there is no line between the two.

So what?  You say.  Well, if there’s no line for me between my “friends” and my “business prospects” then my life is necessarily all about business.  There is no more personal/professional divide.  And don’t think for a second that because we call them “friends” that it is the personal side winning out.  No, quite the opposite.  Our lives are becoming more and more professional.  Everything is about the end game.  We create goals for ourselves, our children, our families that have nothing to do with growth and everything to do with achievement.

I am certainly one of the offenders.  My competitive spirit compels me to direct you to my facebook page (www.facebook.c om/Jewishleadership) as I am constantly pushing for more friends and “likes” (almost at 250!).  I just finished the first round of discussions with my teenagers about their summer internship plans.  Resume building is the catch phrase of the day. 

But we need to stop.

Let’s place our priority back on maintaining a healthy distinction between friends and business.

Leadership Lesson: A friend is not someone I happen to link to by virtue of the sheer recognition of their name.  Friends are so much more: people – not type – who will share time with you, lend a helping hand, hold a mirror to your missteps, debate and discuss issues with you.   Don’t let facebook tell you otherwise.

Hypocrisy!

That’s what this is all about.  Everyone can have an opinion, everything can be looked at from a different point of view, that is unless you disagree with my opinion – then your wrong.  Not only that, I can call you names, insult you and your family and even your race, country and culture.

The unbelievable venom that has been spewn at Amy Chua recently after her articles and book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, were released is truly enlightening.  And not in the way Ms. Chua intended. 

Underlying our “Western” ideas of child-rearing by encouragement, compliments, “good try” for all, is a deep hypocrisy.  Are we really happy when our 23 year old has no direction and wanders the world to find herself?  Are we okay with adult children whose highest ambition is to win the lottery?  Would we not qvell over a child performing at Carnegie Hall?  Would we not beam while our son gave the Valedictory address?  Sure we would. 

We just aren’t willing to admit what it takes to be successful. 

There is no magic that sends a 13 year old onto the stage at Carnegie.  There is no magic that puts people on center court at Wimbledon.  There is no magic that gave the title CEO to someone.  Success takes work.  Any success.  Too many of our kids grow up thinking success is magical.  No one works hard.  What would I do that for?  Isn’t everyone hearing it’s good enough?  Is this really what we want for our children?  

Last night as my 9-year old son went to bed he said to me, “Mom, I want to start getting into shape.” (He’s a tiny frame of 55 lbs – he meant put some bulk on himself) “Okay,” I replied, thinking sure, he’s a competitive kid, he wants to be stronger, fine, whatever he wants to do, he’ll work out a bit.  “But, mom, I don’t want you to say, ‘good job’, I want you to really push me.”

With my newly attuned ears ringing from the Tiger mom debate, I smiled.  “I understand.”  He wants to be great.  He knows he won’t get there with a mom satisfied with “good job.”

What are we afraid of?  Tiger Mom’s aren’t right.  Western Mom’s aren’t right.  The truth for our children lies somewhere in between.  Somewhere where love nurtures drive. 

Let’s get into it.  

Let’s open up the debate and talk about what works, where the pitfalls are, how I navigate this for each kid, born with a different makeup.  That’s our true western heritage – open dialogue and a sharing of ideas to make us all better in the end.

Leadership Lesson: Why discuss this parenting argument on a leadership blog?  Well, because this debate spills into our workforce. Into so much of what we do.  See Richard Whitmire’s op ed in the Washington Post about Michelle Rhee and her toughness with the school system link.  Many of us encourage our followers with platitudes of “good job” and “thanks for your efforts”.  Are we really satisfied?  Underneath that “speak” we really want to outperform.  We want to sell a great product, run a great institution, leave people with a great feeling about our organization.  Let’s get honest.  It takes work to get there.  We want that work from our followers.  Tell them.  Demand it from them.  They are capable.

“The power of man has grown in every sphere except over himself.” 

Winston Churchill

I have to admit that watching Charlie Sheen these days is a lot like watching the movie Unstoppable. 

I kept thinking, there is no way this will go too far.  Someone has to stop the train.  CBS would be crazy to fire him – he’s their cash cow, bringing in the number one rated show with the highly sought-after demographic.  Can’t they find a way to shut him up?

This is an unbalanced relationship. 

Charlie Sheen holds all the power. And for a long time that balance of power worked for Mr. Sheen.  His recent escapades are merely the latest round of far-fetched behavior.  Yet, Sheen was able to command $1.2 million per episode of this first-rate show.  1.2 million per episode!  Surprisingly he was worth it. 

Where Sheen went wrong was in mistakenly believing his own hype.  He was(is?) a very powerful player in Hollywood.  He demanded a high salary- he got it.  He behaved badly, embarrassingly even, and he got away with it.  At some point, though, Sheen crossed the line – believing that he had all the power.  The power to degrade his bosses.  The power to stop his drug addiction with a simple blink.  “I blinked and I cured my brain.  Everybody has the power.”  The power to “expose people to magic” by being near him while he partied.

Firing him wasn’t a power play, it was the last resort.

Sheen was still in control, even as he was acting out of control. 

CBS would have liked nothing more than to keep Charlie Sheen, their meal ticket, in front of the rolling cameras.  But Sheen had backed them into a corner.  They had no choice.  No power to stop the steaming train coming right at them.  They were flattened.

So what did all this power get Charlie?  For such a “winner” his career is certainly in jeopardy.  Not to say he won’t stage a comeback.  There’s nothing more enticing to Hollywood then a good comeback story – we look to you Robert Downey Jr. and Sean Penn.  Those two seem to have their heads screwed on straight these days.  They are wielding their power to work on the projects they adore, to make everyone money and to win awards.  It’s possible to rehabilitate once you cede some of your hyped power into humility. 

Jewish history has had its share of power stories. King Solomon thought he could party with 1000 wives.  King David had his share of abuse of power – he sent a man off to be killed in war so he could take his wife.  It was only through the power of self-reflection and admission that David and Solomon were able to achieve forgiveness.

With each passing comment, Sheen is eroding more and more of his power base.  He is converting it into a train wreck base.  Hard to tell which has more popularity – people have an incredible and insatiable fascination with impending doom, witness his twitter following – but

attention isn’t the same as power – is it? 

Maybe Sheen would do well remembering Charles de Gaulle’s advice.

“Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.”

What do you think about power?  Bring your lunch, bring your ideas to the first of our Great Conversations with Erica Brown.  March 22.  Go to www.shalomdc.org/power for more information.

Talk about left-handed compliments.  How would you like to be called the most honorable guy in the room?  What if the room was the Lorton prison?   

From this week’s Torah portion we learn the meaning and limits of context.

Noah is called the most righteous person of his generation.  Was he our shining moral example sitting in Lorton?  Just the paragraph before, the Torah relates the extent of man’s wickedness on earth – every plan that he devised was nothing but evil.  And Noah is singled out.

So, it begs the question, asked by many commentaries and scholars, was Noah good or was he just the good one for the time.

We understand the concept of context.  We all appreciate the “bell curve.”  For most of my classes I didn’t have to achieve 100%, I just had to do better than my classmates to get the “A”.  Is Noah being graded on a curve?    

Is my goodness graded on a curve?

I bring this up, because like goodness, I don’t think leadership can ever be placed in this type of “context.”  There are good behaviors, moral behaviors, and good intentions and there are bad behaviors, immoral behaviors, and evil intentions.  Just because my dastardly plan might be less egregious than my neighbors, doesn’t make me the good one.  Of course there are gradations of evil, immoral or bad behavior.  But none of it can be called “good.”

Similarly, there isn’t always a leader in the room. 

Someone might come up with a plan that is followed, but that does not define leadership.  You might be the follower with the best idea.  Too many times organizations, companies and movements, in their search for a leader, find the “best one in the room.”  This is not a recipe for success.  There is a needle in the haystack.

Noah was good.  He was the only good one in a world full of men and women.  But he was there.  And he was good.  How good was he?  That is debated through the centuries by scholars. There are gradations of good behavior, just like evil.  There are gradations of leaders, just like goodness.  We can use context within the same groupings.  We just can’t cross the line thinking we get the benefit of the curve.

I heard the other day that die-hard college basketball fans are complaining about the NCAA Basketball tournament.  They justly argue that the tournament does not reflect the best of the season.  Shouldn’t there be a “National Champion” as a culmination of a great season – a la the football BCS system or the NBA Championship or Super Bowl?

I see their point, but completely disagree.

Actually, I think the tournament system is more a reflection of reality than the others.  March Madness?  How about January? April? November?  Isn’t every day “madness”?  Ever since Alice in Wonderland, “madness” represents the unpredictable.  The varying mood swings of life.  Anything can happen, and typically does. 

How many times in our lives do things “go as planned”?  If you’re like me, almost never.  One of the greatest qualities we can possess is flexibility because in truth we never know what will come at us.  That’s the Tourney.  You can work really hard all season, be number one and then have a bad day and you’re out.  Or, you can simply meet an opponent on their really good day and then you’re out.   And for those Cinderella’s – you have an incredible, everything-we-tried-worked day and meet with success only dreamed of. 

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s March Madness.  March is a topsy-turvy month.  Seasons change – or do they?  Some years we are still entrenched in winter.  Others it can be full blown summer.  This year we are lucky to have a beautiful spring.  Judaism celebrates the holiday of Purim in March.  Purim means lottery.  It is a festival celebrating what appears to be chance.  Everything gets flipped around – V’nahafoch Hu – what we thought should happen doesn’t, the influential fall and the underdogs emerge.  Shakespeare tipped his hat to this unrest in Julius Caesar – Beware of the Ides of March.  Even George Clooney kept up the tradition (with his movie title and by not winning the Best Actor Oscar).

So where does that leave us?  Do we complain that life isn’t fair?  Do we seek to change it?

Or do we celebrate these surprises – embrace the beauty of the unpredictable and marvel at it.  I guess the real lesson here is not to put too much money into the brackets.  That definitely increases your chance at sitting back in wonder.  What fools believe that they can pick the winning brackets?  What fools we are if we think we can predict life.

Hiking in Israel is a marvelous way to experience the wonder and beauty of the State of Israel.

It is also a lesson in letting go.  As the saying goes: If there is a sign “No swimming”, to Israelis that means “Please jump right in.”  After a few years of spending a lot of time tooling around, I have come to accept the Israeli culture of no rules apply.  But with a family it is nerve-racking.

Today we went on a fantastic hike across several beaches. We started at one official beach and hiked four hours to the next.  In between, we swam, waded, climbed and ate on the unofficial beaches.  One of them is even called “tent city” – not the ones the students are creating in protest – but this is here on the beach every summer.  People move out of their houses and put up tents on the beach.  They even bring kitchens and sofas!  Of course natural beaches are fun.  But they are also a bit scary.  Surf pounds and rocks jut and kids have no caution.  So a parent struggles with how much to allow them to do and how much to be wary.

It reminded me of a supervisor. There can be a lot of lip service to “empowering subordinates” and delegating authority.  But it’s scary.  How much do you let your people “play on the rocks?”  When is it okay to venture into the surf and when do you need to caution and hold back?  These are real dangers.  Business is impacted.  No one advocates crazy risk.  Don’t go too far into the sea – there is a point of no return.  But what about the middle ground where we still waver?

Perhaps here we can learn from the Israeli spirit.  Many of us are naturally cautious.  Some of us learned to be cautious when so much is on the line.  Israelis live every day for the thrill of the risk and the payoff when all turns out right.  There are more people on the unofficial beaches than on the official ones.  And you know what?  They are much more beautiful. Wait until you see my pictures.

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."—Anne Frank

Beginner’s mind.  Sometimes as we get older we forget what it’s like to be completely new to an experience.  We tend to gravitate to doing the same things over and over and not reach out to the unknown.  Yet, when we try to change ourselves, and when are we not trying, we are always trying something new.  We forget how difficult it is to approach anything new because we are inexperienced in newness as we age.

This week, Judaism gives us the opportunity to think again with our beginner’s mind.  We begin the cycle of the Torah reading again.  Not only that, we are literally starting at the beginning of life when everything was new.  

We learn a few important lessons from this “beginner’s mind.”

1.       At the beginning, everything is good.  God looks at each day’s creation and remarks, it was good.  Anything we attempt has the potential to be good, maybe even very good.  How does our attitude change when we look at each new challenge as starting with good?

2.       We all make mistakes at the beginning.  I know I will wrinkle some noses when I say that even God is recorded as making a mistake during creation.  But let’s look at this for the message it sends us, not for trying to give God any attributes.  God creates one man.  The Bible then records that he was lonely.  God says, it is not good.  Then God creates woman.  If God can “learn” from looking at his first attempts, what can we expect but to make mistakes and learn from them as well?

3.       Beginnings are really hard.  We are charting new territory and we have no idea what’s right and wrong sometimes.  Even when things look clear with hindsight, we can recognize that in the moment the choices were not that apparent.  When Cain kills Abel, did he know that killing was wrong?  Did he even know how to kill someone?  When we think about the murkiness of newness, is there room for understanding and not blame?

As we set off on our new Jewish year, how do we bring this feeling of beginning into our lives?  How do we open ourselves to new experiences and allow for others to be in a new space?  How do we keep meeting the challenge of change and not get ourselves and others stuck in the rut of experience?  Where can we look for new challenges?  Where can we flex our beginner’s mind for positive effect?

Why aren’t we built to last?  Did you notice how quickly we move from “very good” to “wickedness” and “very evil” in the Bible?  It takes only 109 verses!

By the end of the first Parsha, or Torah portion, God is out to destroy all mankind and only Noah is still good.

How did we fall so fast?  And what does this teach us that might be valuable for our leadership roles?

The Christians like to point to the Garden of Eden as the root of man’s descent, and they have a lot to base that opinion on.  The sole choice of eating the “apple” represented man’s selection of temptation over divine law.  But there is more.  Cain and Abel brought jealousy into the world, judging others and feelings of inadequacy when measured against each other.  The longevity of people is highlighted as a root of their evil behavior and God shortens men’s lives to 120 years at best.

What do we learn from these stories and how can it help us avoid pitfalls?

Our ability to choose is at the core of our humanity.  However, our urge to select the short-term rush over the long-term gain can lead us right down the rabbit hole.  Adam and Eve are a cautionary tale of how much is sacrificed if you don’t defend your legacy at the expense of immediate gratification.

Jealousy and judging others can unravel even the closest of relationships.  Think about it.  There were only four people in the world.  How much closer can you get?  And yet, when we make life about who gets more, who is favored, or what do I deserve – we quickly learn that no relationship can survive.  The world does not work according to our sense of justice.  Holding people accountable for that can destroy the world.

How many of us have experienced being at something too long?  Whenever we are stuck somewhere beyond our ability to grow, things begin to decay.  People lived too long.  They began jaded, full of themselves, cynical.  They began to corrupt society, maybe because they were bored.

As leaders and as people, our first lessons of the Bible are to make wise choices, to step back and think through legacy before rushing to selection, to avoid measuring others and focus on ourselves and making ourselves better people, and to know when to exit. 

Either that, or know how to tread water really well.

Sitting through last week’s Torah portion is a little like sitting through a baseball game.  Pretty long.  Relaxing (lots of repetition).  Moments of highlight (the Nazir – our version of a monk, the Sotah – adulterous woman, and Temple dedication).

One of these highlights that make my ears perk up (I don’t jump out of my seat to cheer as I do at Nationals Stadium, although sometimes I think that might spice up Synagogue a bit) is the description of dealing with lepers.  People who have leprosy are forced out of the camp for the duration of their illness.

Besides being incredibly un-PC, this has no basis in fact.  Leprosy isn’t contagious.  There are no other diseases that push people out of the camp.  So what’s really going on here?

There is a long tradition that leprosy is connected with lashon hara or “evil” talk.  This association dates back to Miriam – Moses’ sister – who develops leprosy after speaking badly about Moses’ wife.  So what is the connection to leaving the camp?

Communication is central to our relationships and thus to our community.

How we speak to one another is the key to strong bonds and fundamentally to leadership.  Everyone has the power to be a leader and that leadership can lead people toward the good or toward the bad.  Rhetoric is the tool to take people there.

In Mark Wiskup’s The “It” Factor he argues that when we open our mouths our goal is “to make something new happen, to shake things up – in a big way, a small way, or a medium way.”  “All talking is about change.”

The big question is: Am I aware of the effect my speech will have?

Leaders need to be continuously aware of the impact of their words.  When you speak, speak with intentionality.  There is NO SUCH THING as a casual conversation.  Within the context of your organization, you are always the leader.  Sure it’s a pain to constantly inquire “what will this person take from this conversation?” but it is an important consideration.

People using their speech for negativity (lashon hara) are sent out of the group, separated from the people they could influence.  It’s not enough to stay in your home.  People might come to see you.  You must be quarantined away from all.  That is how contagious negativity can be.

Everyone should be thinking about what we say, to whom, and perhaps most importantly how we say it.  There are great resources out there to work on our communication, such as The IT Factor, How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen series, and Fierce Conversations.  Or to get a conversation started at work, try the youtube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4LNYH_5III&feature=related, and to start with a Jewish source try Joseph Telushkin’s article at http://www.myjewishlearning.com/practices/Ethics/Talk_and_Gossip/Types_of_Speech/Gossip_Rumors_and_Lashon_Hara/Lashon_Hara.shtml  

Sometimes I think the world has gone crazy.

I just finished watching a Starbucks commercial that showcased the company reuniting a son and mother after years of not seeing each other because of financial hard times. This is how Starbucks is selling itself.  There was no mention of coffee, let alone the quality, availability, price, or anything else that is directly related to their product.

This multi-million dollar company is selling itself based solely on its good deeds.

Now, if I could believe that we had finally gotten to an era when even giant corporations are thinking and doing good because all of us are more concerned with helping others, I’d get up and do a jig.  Although it would probably look more like a hora, being that I have only Russian and Polish in my blood.

The truth is more sinister I believe.

Why is Starbucks trumpeting its good deeds?  Is it because we care about helping others?  If that were the case, then the income of non-profits would be bursting.  If every consumer really made the welfare of others their most important priority, then donations would be pouring in.

But they’re not.  Because we are not interested in how best to help others.

Starbucks recognizes that we pay lip service to assistance while we really want to feel better about serving ourselves.

If I am going to pay over $3 for a cup of coffee, I feel better about doing it if I think Starbucks will do something nice with my money.  Target gives millions to charities.  Does it occur to people that they could give their money directly to the charity instead of using Target as their agent of good?  Probably.  But if I donate directly, I don’t get my ipad.  See, if I buy an ipad from Target and then they give some charity with a piece of the money – everyone wins, right?  Wrong!  Starbucks and Target understand that really they are the winners.  Sure a small portion of their profits go to charity, but how much more do they rake in if you feel you are doing good by buying their products?  They’re banking on a lot more.  We are spending not only our material budgets but our charitable budgets there too.

We are turning into an incredibly selfish people.  Everything is beginning to revolve around us.  Even our charity.  We need to be careful and redouble our efforts to give in the spirit of giving.  Not because it’s a win-win, but because it’s a you win.

I love the “aha” moment that happens in class when leaders are introduced to the Servant Leader.  In Robert Greenspan’s seminal book, he defines a leader as someone who “leads from behind,” who puts others in front and is the caring and nurturing presence from behind that always has the organization as her first priority.  Somehow it touches the truth of what it means to lead, and you can see participants soaking it in and integrating the concept into their experiences.  It is powerful.  But it also comes with a danger warning.

Leading from behind can cause you to fall too far back --  to lollygag, rather than to lead.

In today’s New York Times, Paul Wolfowitz takes Hillary Clinton and the administration to task for ‘leading from behind’ in the Middle East.  Mr. Wolfowitz, former deputy secretary of defense, maintains that the state department has let others set the agenda and provide the means, taking a role of supporter, rather than provider.  

Biblical leaders are almost all shepherds.  Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David – they were all shepherds while, or in David’s case – before, they were leaders of a nation.  Even Moses, who should have had every qualification with his training as a Prince of Egypt, had to spend time as a shepherd before taking on the mantle of leadership.  What is so vital about a shepherd’s training?  Shepherds must lead their sheep from behind.  Sheep never follow the one in front.  So we learn that leaders are gatherers and caretakers, looking out for the stray, and keeping the group moving with gentle prods.

What we need to remember is that even when you are “leading from behind” – you have to be leading!

You are still a servant leader.  Sometimes the temptation is great to rest from leading.  We are tired from the risks that come with it.  Or we just want to focus on what’s in front of us, not have to project consequences down the line.

That’s when we can start to lollygag.

As Wolfowitz puts it “Policy makers should never underestimate the risks of action in the face of any conflict, but neither should they underestimate the risks of inaction.”  Absence of leadership can be dangerous. 

We not only want to, but must respond to people’s needs. 

And we need to respond from a place of leadership – hear the needs, feel the needs and meet them – take action to provide for the needs.  That’s the shepherd.  He doesn’t wait for the sheep to find water.  She doesn’t assume someone else will send the stray sheep back.  The shepherd might be in the back, but there is no question who is the one with the staff.

I long for the days of leprosy. 

Wait – that sounds strange.  Let me explain.  In the Torah portion from Leviticus we read this week, the Bible talks about people being afflicted with leprosy.  Leprosy in ancient times was believed to be a punishment for bad behavior.  In the Bible, people with leprosy needed to be separated from the national camp until they were cleansed from the disease.  The most famous story of leprosy in Biblical times is that of Miriam, the sister of Moses, who, after speaking badly about Moses’ wife, contracts leprosy and keeps the camp from moving forward until she can rejoin them when her affliction passed.  Leprosy is a disease affecting your skin, nerves and eyes.  We have all but eliminated the disease and it is now treatable with medication when it arises.

So why do I miss it?

We could use some symbolic leprosy – the idea that you are marked for all to see when you have gone off the path. 

We find ourselves in a time when honesty is not the highest value. 

We hide behind “carrot motivation” and “different strokes for different folks” when what we really need is the truth.  What are we afraid of? Why aren’t we being honest?

Many times supervisors fail to confront someone who is underperforming, has an annoying habit or lousy work ethic.  They engage in the work-around.  Everyone begins to pick up the pieces and quietly shoulder the frustration while the supervisor tries to nudge the worker into better productivity. 

We think we are doing right by the worker.  We are not. 

And we aren’t being honest with ourselves. We aren’t as forgiving as we are making ourselves out to be.  We aren’t really okay with the behavior.  We are building frustration and resentment, and the worker might be clueless as to why.

Tell it like it is.  It might be painful in the moment, but it pays off in trust, productivity and attitude. 

In the scenario of simply not addressing problems, your team becomes distrustful, frustrated, sluggish, disempowered and unmotivated. You’re not hiding anything.  Everyone is keenly aware of even the slightest foibles in their co-workers.  And you’re not being fair to the floundering worker.  No one can change unless the issue is named.  People do not intuit their own deficiencies.

Don’t think that hiding the truth is the sole domain of the corporate world.  In our not-for-profit sphere, lay leadership is fraught with hiding the truth.  Many times people are not upfront about lacking leadership qualities in volunteers.  We pass people from organization to organization without disclosing the warning labels that should accompany them.

Which brings me back to the benefits of leprosy.  This was a disease you could not hide.  It served as a neon sign.  This person is not yet ready to be in the fold.  It was painful.  But it gave the person the opportunity to change and come back healed. 

Please don’t misunderstand – I am not advocating being mean. 

Honesty is not cruel and it is not disrespectful.  It is just speaking the truth in a way the other person can hear it. 

When you come from a place of respect and optimism, genuinely hoping the person chooses to improve, your conversation is forthright, not demeaning.

So maybe we don’t need a neon sign.  But we need transparency.

Margaret Thatcher died this week, and it seems to me that she represents a more honest approach to leadership.  British Members of Parliament don’t seem to hold much back.  As Americans we can laugh at the name calling and interrupting and “uncivil” behavior, but maybe they are on to something we have lost.  Honesty.

It was an interesting juxtaposition.  New Year’s and Les Miserables.

To be fair, I began my kids’ vacation with the theater production and ended it with the movie version (no comparison, I’m sorry), so I guess I surrounded myself with Les Mis.  The crux of the theme of the production is whether or not a tiger can change his stripes, a leopard, his spots.  According to Victor Hugo, he can and anyone who tries to keep him in the cage, beware – it could be your undoing.

If change is the theme, then New Year’s was a perfect setting.  After all, what better time to tackle a makeover – right?

Yet throughout Hugo’s expansive novel and echoed throughout the show is the fight between good and evil.  Is there such a thing as a bad soul? Are there people who can only do bad or is it circumstance that allows people to be bad or good – and it rests upon your choice every moment.  Reminds me of Trading Places in a lower brow manner. 

Is this really what we wrestle with for our New Year’s resolutions?

The number one resolution for 2013 is “losing weight.”  Number two was “get organized.” Where is “take care of a dying stranger’s child and raise her as your own”? Or “save the life of a guy who wants to take you to prison”?  Okay – so maybe those are a bit extreme, but I hope you see where I’m going.

New Year’s resolutions increasingly fall into the “makeover” category and less into the self-improvement one.  I understand that our culture does nothing to assist us in making this turn of year a time for serious reflection.  We spend the night partying and the day watching sport (or shopping).  Judaism’s approach to a New Year is radically different as we praise the Creator of the world that is growing older and this allows us the backdrop to think humbly of ourselves and how we can become more God-like, improve our souls and our choices each day.

So maybe Les Mis would have been a better premiere at Rosh Hashana.  There are plenty of reasons to be miserable in this world.  I just received a story from a friend of mine detailing that 1 in 10 orphans in Africa gets a secondary school education, to name but one group.  But I believe that what all of us can take from this season – one in which all religions celebrate light – is that we need to think about how we can bring more light into the world – not a lighter me, but a lighter world.

Something to do today: What one action can I do today to make someone else’s world brighter?

Something to think about today: What would it take for me to do this action every day?