by Asa P.
I write to you on this day to remark upon the fruits of Yisrael. On the first day, God said to Asa, let there be fresh figs, and so it came to pass that many trees were laden with fruits of all colors, flavors, and sizes across the land of Israel, from the dry grassy hills of the Golan Heights to the ancient streets of Tzfat. On the second day, God created a helper named Wyn, who was fearless and would try any strange fruit without knowing or caring whether it was poisonous, so that Asa might see which fruits were delicious and which fruits were not. And thus, Wyn tasted green pomegranates, unripened olives, grapes dangling from weathered stone walls, and the mysterious “Fresca fruit.”
On the sixth day, God declared that Asa should gather many fruits from the market in Jerusalem and feed them to Wyn in front of everyone while he was blindfolded. Wyn tasted passion fruit, dragon fruit, lychee, prickly pear, and of course, black mission figs. And God saw that it was good, and on the seventh day He rested.
Besides, Wyn will put anything in his mouth. Ze ma shaimashka amrali.